Just When You Thought You Couldn't Hate Howie Any More

Unbelievable article up right now detailing the final despairing days of a Sonic employee. The money quote:

I didn't see how we'd get an arena deal led by men who couldn't conceive of it as anything but a rich man's boondoggle, perpetrated on behalf of other rich people. Average people would shoulder the costs of making sure that the Puget Sound's affluent—suits at Boeing, executives at Microsoft—could be coddled at a sporting event that average people would no longer be able to afford to attend. 

 See the rest at Deadspin. No, really, see the rest at Deadpin, like, right now. Story by Jeremy Repanich.

Deserve? Deserve's Got Nothing To Do With It

"But [the Maloofs] don't deserve [Anthony] Davis. They don't deserve a team."

-Steve Kelley, Seattle Times, May 2

Let's get one thing straight - deserve's got nothing to do with.

You want to talk about deserve? Does Jerry Buss - a Class A philanderer - deserve Kobe Bryant?

Does Donald Sterling - a racist skinflint - deserve Blake Griffin or Chris Paul?

Does Aubrey McClendon - a top-class con artist who has swindled his own company out of hundreds of millions of dollars - deserve Kevin Durant?

Does James Dolan - a top-notch jerk who seems to flounder from one disaster to the next - deserve Jeremy Lin?


For crying out loud, who does deserve Anthony Davis? As it stands now, Michael Jordan and the Bobcats will get Davis, even though they forced their customers to pay first-class prices for third-class service the entire 2011-12 season. Do they deserve Davis?

The answer, of course, is no. As much as Steve Kelley would like to get free tickets to NBA games again, and as scandalous as the NBA's departure from Seattle was, we don't deserve an NBA team any more than anyone else. And the notion that David Stern will now - after 30 years of being a condescending and selfish twit- suddenly morph into a benevolent dictator and hand us the keys to the Sacramento Kings, well, I'm sorry, but I'm not holding my breath about that happening anytime soon.

David Stern is going to do what David Stern always does: Get the best deal he can for his owners and let the chips fall where they may. If he can keep the Maloofs in Sacramento and get a new arena he will, but if not, it will be up to the Maloofs - not David Stern, not Steve Kelley, not anyone else - where the team will go next.

Because deserve's got nothing to do with it.

Richie Rich Hates Aubrey

Aubrey McClendon Must Be Stopped
Shareholders must demand accountability and vote to throw out McClendon. If any pocket of justice exists in our ambivalent world Aubrey McClendon will be forced to exit Chesapeake and walk the long plank of disgrace.

Did I crib this from Mother Jones? Or perhaps Utne Reader? Or Supersonicsoul?

Nope. It's from Forbes, and it's written by an investor from Houston whose most recent piece in the magazine was titled “Some Tips For The Simpletons of Occupy Wall Street.”  Worth a read, if only to revel in the coming financial apocalypse headed Aubrey's way.

Good ol' AM, still an a**hole after all these years.

(via Forbes)

Updated Sonicsgate on CNBC; Chunkstyle’s Stern Cameo

As Seen on TV! By Friday, 10pm EDT anyway.

Like every diehard Supes fan, I watched the original Sonicsgate doc with a mixture of pride and heartbreak. I could only watch it in 20-minute segments, if only to keep myself from punching my monitor or sending Tourette’s-like streams of expletives to Howard Schultz’s corporate email account.

It’s been at least two years since I watched the whole thing, so it is easy to recommend, nay, DEMAND a fresh viewing of the documentary in its slim-and-trim-for-2012, 1-hour form on CNBC, Friday April 27 and Sunday April 29, 7pm PDT. What’s new? Oh, just a couple things:

• new interviews with Sonics legend Shawn Kemp and Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament
• new archival footage, photos and evidence
• stunning new graphics and visual effects

Unless they meant some sweet Video Toaster transitions, I should probably mention that the STUNNING! NEW! GRAPHICS! will include my STERNZILLA painting. Which means I will soon be having this conversation on the phone:

"Yes, Mom, the painting will be on TV. No, no, I won't be on TV. Just the painting I did. No, they're not going to talk to me. Because nobody cares what I have to say, I'm an artist. Sigh, yes, I will come over and help you set your VHS."

Anyway, said painting is conveniently now (soon?) available in the all-new SUPERSONICSOULSTORE on the Zazzle. Also, some of my other SSS “Hall of Fame” images are included in the Sonicsgate DVD Bonus Features.

Dammit, did I bury the lede? That’s what I get for being a journalism school dropout.


http://www.sonicsgate.com/

Doesn't Get Old

The Kings are scheduled to play at Power Balance Pavilion next season. Stern wouldn't speculate where they would play beyond that, and said if they sought to relocate, approval would be left to the relocation committee that is headed by Oklahoma City owner Clay Bennett.

via AP

I could read those last seven words every day for the rest of my life and it'll still get a laugh. God bless you, David Stern, and your horrible, ridiculous league.

Hyperbole, Meet Graph

"While the Mariners successfully co-exist with the Seahawks and Sounders in the adjacent CenturyLink Field, Lincoln notes that an NBA arena will need to host 200 or more events a year to be financially viable and would thus dramatically change the road and parking situation in an already-congested area."

(via Pravda)

Graph below shows scheduling of hypothetical NBA, NHL, and MLB teams in Seattle. Dates used for NHL are from the Vancouver Canucks in 2010-11, the OKC Ahem in 2010-11, the Seattle Mariners for April 2012 and the Texas Rangers for October 2011 (playoff data for Mariner games is slightly outdated).


Note that in the entire calendar year, there was one date (April 13) where a regular season Mariner game overlapped a regular season NBA game and no cases where a regular season MLB game overlapped a regular season NHL game. Note that there were six instances - in total - where a regular season/post-season MLB game overlapped a regular season/post-season NBA/NHL game.

In other words, in a typical season where the Mariners miss the playoffs and the NBA/NHL teams leave by the second round, we're talking about three or four days a year where a scheduling snafu might arise.

Not exactly 200, but, then, why let the truth get in the way?

SoDo NoMo?

As someone who proudly wore a Seattle Mariner starter jacket and cap to the 1985 World Series, I think it’s safe to say I have some credibility when it comes to Mariner history.

Which is why I do not make this comment lightly about the M’s thwarting of the proposed Seattle basketball arena: Incredible.

No, it’s not because the Mariners are hypocrites who have no problem sucking from the public teat while simultaneously blocking their brothers from doing the same. And, no, it’s not because they continue to say that their interference has everything to do with traffic concerns and nothing do with keeping a lid on competition for Seattle’s pocketbooks.

No, the reason I say that this whole affair is incredible is because if 1985 me had flown in via time machine to 2012 and heard that the Mariners were the kingpins of the Seattle sports scene … well, 1985 me would have dropped his Mariner painter’s cap and Alvin Davis rookie cards in utter astonishment.

Regardless of your opinion of the nonsense arising from the professional sports teams in this region, you have to be amazed at how times have completely changed in the span of 25 years. Two decades ago, the Mariners played before crowds that resembled a Ringo Starr tour, were routinely booted to odd AM or FM stations whenever the Seahawks happened to be playing at the same time, and were generally thought of as the stepchild of Seattle sports, below (in order) the Seahawks, the Huskies, and the Sonics.

Now? Well, now it’s different. As Geoff Baker pointed out in the Seattle Times today, the Mariners’ decision to stand in the way of the proposed new arena is such a horribly pad PR move that it can only mean the team’s owners are close to selling, and could care less about the long-term ramifications of their decision.

Will their position hurt the team? Honestly, I have to believe that whatever tomatoes get thrown their way will have a minimal impact on the team’s attendance, and whatever money they forfeit from a hypothetical TV network involving the M’s, Sonics, and NHL would be more than made up for by not having to share King County’s disposable income with two other competitors.

Bottom line? The M’s decision is bad PR-wise, but not so bad that it’s going to kill them. After all, every Sonic fan already knows the true moral of this story, and every story regarding pro sports:

It’s a business.

The Sonic Dance

If you haven't already figured it out, we've replaced the competitors in this year's NCAA tournament with Sonic players and coaches who were either alums or former coaches or ... well, sometimes I had to fudge a bit. For example:

1) Lamar: Dale Ellis clearly didn't attend Lamar University, but his middle name is Lamar, so, there you go.

2) Murray State: Flip Murray/Murray State. Yes, I know.

3) Kentucky: Real Sonic (or Kentucky) fans will know why.

4) Lehigh: Bob Weiss has no affiliation with the school, but he did grow up in the same area.

5) LIU, BYU: Ditto #4

6) Harvard: He doesn't have an official relationship (yet), but thousands of Sonic fans wish Steve Ballmer's name would appear in a Sonic media guide in some future time.

7) Florida State: Rashard Lewis obviously never played for the Seminoles, but was heavily recruited by them.

Sadly, even my loose rules couldn't enable me to find a Sonic for UNC Asheville, New Mexico, Belmont, or Southern Miss. If any readers can provide some tips, we'll be glad to amend the bracket.

The Midwest bracket (Haywood/Meschery! Perkins/Ellis! Silas/McKey! Cage/McMillan!) has got it all over the West (Snow/Bianchi? Sundvold/Pope?).

50th Anniversary of Wilt's 100

Today marks the 50th anniversary of, as Ed Sullivan called it, "The greatest thing that's ever happened in indoor sports."

I'd argue it's the "greatest thing" that's ever happened in any sport. Unless the NBA lowers the rims or bans teams from playing defense, Wilt's 100 is one of the few records in all of sports that is virtually untouchable.

If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend picking up Wilt, 1962: The Night of 100 Points and the Dawn of a New Era by Gary M. Pomerantz. It's one the best (and quickest!) basketball books I've read in quite a while, breaking down this epic feat quarter by quarter, player by player.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go pay respects to Wilt's other greatest performance.

Zollie Volchok Passes Away

To those reared on Payton, Kemp, and Karl, the name Zollie Volchok might not ring any bells, but Zollie Volchok, who passed away Sunday night, was an integral part of the early days of Sonic history, and also played an important role in the championship years as well.

Volchok, who was 95 years old and was born Zalmon Marcola Volchok, came to the Sonics in the 1969-70 season as the team's interim Supervisor of Operations and remained with the club in various positions for many years afterwards. He was brought back to the Sonics by owner Sam Schulman for the 1977-78 season as the team's Executive Vice President/General Manager and remained with the club through the 1982-83 season. Ironically, he was named the NBA's Executive of the Year in 1983, the first such award in the franchise's history (he was joined by Bob Whitsitt a decade later as the only two winners in Seattle's history).

Volchok's role was a unique one, and completely different than the one expects from an NBA GM in today's game, as he left the on-court talent business to Bill Russell or Lenny Wilkens while he handled the business side of things. In Wilkens' book "Unguarded," there are numerous stories of trades that didn't happen (Fred Brown for Earl Tatum or Tom Burleson for George Jonson) or draft picks that didn't get picked (Ernie Grunfield instead of Jack Sikma), and Volchok routinely let Wilkens handle that side of the Sonics' affairs, trusting that a former NBA player and coach would no more about basketball talent than a guy who spent his formative years in vaudeville.

Volchok's background was in the entertainment business, everything from roller derbies to Frank Sinatra and few things in between, and he did considerable work for the Variety Club. Despite a lack of basketball knowledge, Schulman trusted that Volchok's ability to get people to attend events would prove useful with the Sonics.

Schulman's trust proved accurate, as Sonic attendance increased and Volchok eventually wound up owning a 5% share of the club. He is survived by his wife of 72 years, Sylvia, and sons Gary, Michael and Tony.

Spencer Haywood and the Hall

The Basketball Hall of Fame announced its list of candidates for 2012 induction today, and they failed to include a former Sonic who spent quite a bit of time proclaiming that he was going to be inducted this year:

Nope, Spencer won't get hired this year.

Reggie Miller, Rick Pitino, Bill Fitch, Katrina McClain, Maurice Cheeks, Bernard King, Dick Motta, Don Nelson, Hank Nichols, Ralph Sampson, Jamaal Wilkes and All American Red Heads make up the entire list, and no matter what you think of the merits of Ralph Sampson (I know, it's ridiculous, but, hey, that's the Hall), it can't be argued that somewhere along the lines, Spencer Haywood either 1) Got some bad info from someone or 2) Was blowing smoke.

(Also, if you had some bad shrimp yesterday and need to get it to come up, just think about this: Phil Knight is also getting inducted this year.)

What does this all mean? Very little, honestly, except for Spencer Haywood, obviously. It's not as though he can't get elected some time next year or the year after that, and given the Hall's byzantine and, frankly, nonsensical standards it's not beyond the realm of possibility that we could very soon see Haywood's name up there with Jabbar, Jordan, and Johnson.

Just not this year.

Seattle NBA / NHL arena Special on KING-5 tomorrow

It looks like KING 5 is going full-blown WEATHERBLAST 2012 with the new Seattle sports arena story, dedicating an entire hour of prime-time to a special news report:

Seattle, WA – KING 5 is producing a one-hour 10:00 PM special airing Thursday, February 23rd, titled “Seattle Arena: Billion Dollar Hat Trick.” KING 5’s Jean Enersen and Sports Director Paul Silvi will report on the plans for a world class sports arena to be built in Seattle as home for professional basketball and hockey franchises. 

The three-part hat trick Jean and Paul explore:

• the financing and building of a state-of-the-art sports arena to be built in Seattle’s Sodo district

• what it’s going to take for this billion dollar arena to be the new home for an NBA team 

• what it’s going to take to bring an NHL team to the Puget Sound. 

 KING 5 examines details of the arena plan including the private financing proposed and its potential impact on taxpayers as well as the future of Key Arena.   Jean and Paul will also report on the personalities involved, from Seattle and King County politicians to the Seattle native and self-made multi-millionaire Chris Hansen who’s behind the mega deal.   

KING 5’s Chris Daniels reports from Orlando, where the NBA All-Star game is taking place this weekend.  The NBA and Sacramento must make a decision soon about the future of the Sacramento Kings franchise.  The special will also feature reports from Phoenix and New Orleans, two areas where sports franchises face uncertain futures.    

“Seattle Arena: Billion Dollar Hat Trick” will also be simulcast on 710 ESPN Seattle radio.  It replays on NWCN on Friday, February 24th at 8:30 PM. 

Damn. If Jean Enersen is involved, you know Shit Just Got Real ™.