Thursday, April 6

FOR SALE - One Team, Slightly Used

The Seattle Sonics are for sale, but who's buying?The Sonics issued a press release Wednesday announcing that they are entertaining offers from prospective buyers.

In an even juicier bit, Schultz & Co. had to eat crow regarding Howie's ultimatum of "build it or we'll leave," issued on February 1st. According to the statement yesterday, "This ownership group has no interest in owning professional basketball franchises outside the state of Washington." Ah, yes, the sweet smell of failure.

Ironically, with the Blazers also up for sale, the two teams will now compete for buyers, meaning the "woe is me" campaigns will have to be curtailed, inasmuch as no buyer wants to hear the lousy deal he's getting. It's expected the Sonics could fetch anywhere from $300 to $400 million on the open market, which would help defray the "losses" Schultz' group has incurred.

Stay tuned.

14 comments:

  1. Just as an FYI, the Sonics' owners claim they've lost $60 million in the past five years.

    Well, they paid $200 mill. for the team, and if they sell it for $300 mil (the lowest figure I've seen), that means they'd have made $40 million. Divide that up amongst 58 people, and ... that's alot of frickin' money, man.

    Let's see, you get a free seat to all the home games, hang around the Dance Team (purely in a supervisoral role), generally get all sorts of perks only a pro sports team owner would get ... and then five years later you cash out for a million bucks a head? How do I get in on this?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I sure would miss having the sonics around. I used to see watts at mcdonalds where they'd sign autographs and stuff and wilkens when my bro would to go to his hoops camp.

    Anyways, are we gonna see the Reignman play again before year's end? I miss those Payton and Kemp days as well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I heard Shawn might sign with the Mavericks, but other places were saying that's just a lot of talk, and that the Mavs probably won't sign anybody. He's running out of time, though.......

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1993 was the probably the shitiest year in the history of Seattle. Kurt Cobain blew his brains out and the Sonics (who had the best record in the NBA and were thought to be going to the Finals for sure) lost in the first round -- a quick one-two kick to the nuts to the briefly cool city of Seattle. I was so depressed after the Sonics loss, I dropped out of college. Seriously.

    I could've really used some shrooms.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I still remember sitting in my apartment with my roommate and a friend watching game 5 of that Nuggets series. We just couldn't believe what was happening. Those other two games in Denver were one thing, but to lose game 5 ... words just can't describe the pain.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks Biggie. We try to keep it light around here -- we figure there are enough nerdy, stat-obsessed, masturbatory sports sights out there (not naming any names of course).

    ReplyDelete
  7. Why the NBA doesn't do DVD collections of playoff series is beyond me. If there are complete DVD collections of "Alf," "Gimme a Break" and (wait for it) "Rockford Files," why can't I buy a boxed set of the '79 Finals? Or any of the Celtics-Lakers series? WHY?!

    The answer is probably that they want me to buy each game, a la carte, off Google Video. "Kids, gather around the computer. See that clump of pixels? That's a man named Magic Johnson."

    ReplyDelete
  8. That's not a bad idea, but you're right, I've only seen roundups of the series, never the complete thing.

    I know that for the older series, the footage just doesn't exist (that's what happens when they re-broadcast your championship series on tape delay at 11:00 pm), but for stuff since about 1980, there's really no good reason beyond low demand.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think if I had to pick one Sonics game to have on DVD it would be the game 7 win over the Suns when the refs called the game fairly and the Sonics advanced to meet the Bulls in the Finals.

    Oh, wait, that didn't happen and the refs jammed it up our rears. Thanks, Mr. Stern.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm feverishly working on a dramatic, revisionist reenactment of that game, using my camcorder, some old Star Wars action figures and Legos.

    Not only will the Supes win that game and the 1993-94 NBA Championship, but the ensuing 18 Championships. The dynasty ends when Nate McMillan's bionic knees tragically short circuit in Game 6, allowing a time-traveling Bill Bradley to score the winning basket for the Brooklyn Nets. That fall he goes on to win the 2012 Presidential election in a landslide over Charles Barkley.

    I know, I know. What might have been...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anybody else notice how frequently whacking off comes up in Paul's comments? Take a walk thru the archives and see if I'm imagining things.

    Don't feel bad, Paul, it's perfectly natural. Except if there's pictures of Bea Arthur involved, then yes, there's something wrong with you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. *sorry, I meant the 92-93 'chip. my bad.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh man, I dropped out of college a year early! It must've been all that whacking off.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Also, good call -- I was thinking about '94, when the Supes lost (again) in the first round to the pre-Shaq Lakers. The 90's are kind of a blur to me.

    ReplyDelete

Due to excessive spam, anonymous comments may be held for review indefinitely. Remember kids, anonymous=LOSER! Make sure to post your name, so we know who to make fun of.-Editor