In other news, the team also wishes to suspend the printing presses of the Seattle Times, Seattle PI, and Tacoma News Tribune, as well as the broadcasting capabilities of all AM and FM stations (except, as the statement makes clear, "those who broadcast that easy listening stuff, because nobody with a pulse listens to that stuff anyways.") As Clay Bennett makes clear in the statement:
I have grown tired with the inquisitive nature of the Seattle media, and its ability to point out my shortcomings, and therefore wish to silence any possible future embarrassments which may be discovered by the press. While I understand some may take this as an impingement upon the First Amendment, I believe it is completely in line with my belief that the local media should always be under the thumb of the wealthiest person(s) in its respective municipality.
You know, for a sec I thought Bennett really wrote this, but then I noticed the distinct lack of juvenile punctuation ("!!!!") and homoerotic undertones.
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