Sonics Get Stuffed

I'll let you guys off the hook. While the rest of the sports-journalist world inundates you with awful metaphors tying together turkeys and bad games, I'll just say the Sonics ran into a brick wall called Kobe last night.

Well, just one. Ray Allen got his turkey carved last night by Bryant, a fact that undoubtably pleased the Lakers' star to no end. Whether on offense (making 3's as if he was an old white guy at the gym draining free throws), or on defense (holding Sugar Ray scoreless in the 2nd and 3rd quarters), Kobe was the difference.

For the Sonics, Mateen Cleaves continued to post impressive numbers. Excluding Rick Brunson (who has only appeared in limited minutes), Cleaves now ranks as the 4th-best on the club in +/-, trailing only Lewis, Collison, and Allen.

Also of note, Radman got some serious PT last night; 40 minutes to be exact. Of course, he only got the minutes because of Collison's foul trouble, but still, at least it keeps Vlade's agent off Bob Weiss' back for a couple of days.

Too Much Jazz

Okur, Humphries, Palacio? Not exactly the Jazz we've come to know and hate, but they are still Utah, we're still Seattle, and we will always wish the worst to them. Especially when they come to our court and walk away with a victory.

The Sonics made a game of it after falling behind 61-44 in the third quarter - a methodology that is growing thin despite the recent spate of victories.

Bright spots? Sugar Ray and Rashard, naturally. Not much else, although Cleaves managed nine points in only 13 minutes.

Sour notes? Let's see, Da Fort managed 3 fouls, 3 turnovers, 1 board, no points in four minutes. The Center by Committee showed up late for the meeting, it appears, as Petro and the Potato (isn't that a show on PBS?) combined for 2 points and 1 rebound. Folks, when I'm using the singular to recount our center's rebounding totals we may be in trouble.

The good news is the Sonics are playing on Thanksgiving against the woeful Lakers. So far this season the Lakers have beaten Denver (twice), Atlanta, and the Knicks - and nobody else. Let's see ... national t.v., Kobe, Ray Allen, crappy Laker team - I'm guessing the over/under on Kobe's FGA around 37. Any takers?

Clutch! Sonics Crown Kings, 106-104

After another slow start, the Sonics played well when it counted and beat the Sacramento Kings 106-104 in a thriller Sunday night. Ray Allen, who also started slowly again, scored 21 of his 28 points in the second half to lead the comeback.

In a brilliant move, Sonics coach Bob Weiss started King killer Danny Fortson at center, who took Peja Stojakovic out of the game in the second half with a slap so hard it was audible from the other end of the court. Danny, you so cRaZy!

The Sonics were also helped by stellar play from Nick "Caveman" Collison, who hit a clutch 15-footer late in the game, and Vlad the Rad, who finally cut his rat-tail, stopped whining and played like the potential all-star we've been hoping for.

Drink up, Sonics fans—the boys are back in town!

Sonics Blast Bulls 98-84

Hey, look who doesn't suck anymore—it's the Sonics!

Seattle came back from 11 down at halftime to beat Chicago 98-84 Friday night at Key Arena. Ray Allen scored 20 in the second half to help the Supes claw back from the dead and win this one going away. Allen and Rashard Lewis both scored 27 points apiece to lead the team.

The Sonics, who had allowed their last five opponents to score over 100 points, finally played some defense with solid efforts from Petro-Power (4 blocks in 24 minutes) and Mateen Cleaves, while limiting the Bulls to 38 percent shooting from the field.

The Sonics started slow, but ended the game looking like the dominant force from last year. Hopefully, the season will play out that way as well.

Sonics Stop the Celts (and the Bleeding)

Keep hope alive! Keep hope alive! The SuperSonics beat the Boston Celtics 113-100 last night and somehow find themselves only a half game out of first place in the Northwest Division. Go figure.

Ray Allen bounced back from one of the worst games of his career Tuesday to lead the Sonics with 32 points. Rashard Lewis had five steals (!) to go along with his 22 points, and Nick Collison is quickly making everyone forget poor Reggie Evans by grabbing 13 boards and scoring 19 points.

With the brutal road trip (six games in eight nights) behind them, the Sonics return to Seattle for three home games with the division lead easily within their reach. It looks like the team might be starting to turn things around, and just in time too—I was about to turn this site into a Smallville blog!

He's Misstra Know It All

Anyone have a good luck charm they can lend to Bob Weiss? We’re looking for something along the lines of lucky socks, scalp tonic, etc. Donations will be gladly forwarded to the Sonics’ front office.

As they say, if it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all, so you can’t say the Sonics don’t have any luck, it’s just of the wrong variety. Beyond luck, though, just what in the heck has happened to this team? I’m not as much of a numbers wiz as other folks on the internet, but here are a few bits I’ve noticed from last year as opposed to this:

1. Last year, Seattle outrebounded opponents by a margin of 41 to 38. This year, they’re losing the battle to the tune of 37 to 44, a cumulative difference of 7 boards. Collison’s extra minutes have come at the expense of Mr. Glass, and the erstwhile Jayhawk can’t match Evans’ ability in this department.

2. Defense, defense, defense. Opponents are hitting 50% of their shots, while the Sonics are converting barely 40%. Last year, the Sonics were at 44% to 46% for opponents. The 2.3 blocks per game is flat-out pathetic, and the return of the Potato isn’t going to make any difference, as he couldn’t block one of my shots, let alone someone over 6’6”. (As an aside, in case you read somewhere that the Sonics need more of Mac-10’s ball-stripping ways, know this: the Sonics are averaging more steals this year than last).

3. Folks, you can’t shoot 29% from beyond the arc, as Seattle has done this year, and expect to win many games. Ray Allen is the chief culprit, as his 28% mark from 3-point land is way off his 38% of the previous year. As a 40% career shooter from that part of the court, I’d expect Allen to eventually reverse this trend.

4. Hanging onto the ball. Seattle’s turnovers have skyrocketed from 14 per game a year ago to 17 now. Allen, Lewis, and Murray are chiefly to blame, while Ridnour has, surprisingly, held onto the ball better this year than last. I think the swap of AD for Murray can easily be held up as a good explanation. Add in also the emergence of Petro and Moore, two youngsters in the post who have trouble holding onto the ball (Moore averages a horrific 2 turnovers in his measly 11 minutes of action, which could explain why he doesn’t see more minutes).

So, will any of this change? I would venture that the Sonics will gradually hit more of their shots while their opponents fade from the aberrant 50% mark. Turnovers will likely even out. However, rebounding and shot blocking will not change in the foreseeable future. It is painfully obvious the Sonics miss Jerome James, something I never would have expected to type in this lifetime. Petro is too young, the Potato isn’t willing, and Moore isn’t strong enough. Unless the Sonics change their defensive style and go with more trapping, or else slow the ball down and limit possessions (a la Fratello or Van Gundy), Seattle will continue to score well and lose.

Game Night: Net Nation

Will this be the final time the Sonics travel to the Meadowlands? With the impending move of the Nets to Brooklyn, Seattle beat writers will no longer be able to use the "in the shadows of Giants Stadium" in their columns, or national writers reference how many wins the Nets will have relative to the Jets.

Yes, Pearl Washington, it's true, New Jersey will no longer have a team. Of course, tonight's game between two teams that were considered to be two legit playoff teams has turned into a miasma befitting the garden state. For the love of Tony Soprano, will somebody put these two clubs out of their misery?

Halleluiah!

Praise the Lord and pass the Crunk——the Sonics actually won a game today, beating the Toronto Raptors 126-121 in overtime. Of course, they blew an 18-point lead in the fourth to the worst team in the league, but losers can't be choosers so we'll take what we can get! Here are some things that immediately leap from the box score:

- Lewis was obviously the star today, scoring 41 points, but check out the free throws: 14-16! Does this mean Shard is finally going to be more aggressive and start playing with some passion, or is it just another Derrick McKey-like tease? Only time will tell.

- After being benched for two games, Petro Power not only started, but had his best NBA game so far, grabbing 10 boards in 38 minutes. Nice job, Le Pew!

- Look who didn't suck today: Flip Murray! 15 points in 29 minutes is exactly the kind of performance we need from Flipper. (Of course, he had three turnovers, but hey, Ray-Ray had six and you don't hear me squawking!)

- Look who barely played: (Not so) Radman! Despite the extra quarter, the rat-tailed one only played 13 minutes. Guess who's going to be bitching to his agent tonight?

(P.S. It's been brought to my attention that I forgot to mention Nick "Caveman" Collison's excellent game (20pts, 10 boards). As usual, Ni-Co's no-frills brilliance flew under my radar—sorry Nick!)

Super Suckers?

I was going to run a poll yesterday asking readers if they thought the Sonics sucked. After last night's pathetic showing against the Cleveland Cavaliers, however, the question is moot— the Sonics are indeed sucking. The question now is can the sucking be stopped, and if so, how? Here are the solutions people usually come up with when their favorite team is tanking:

Fire the Coach. This is always a popular choice, especially in this case when the coach isn't a Sonics legend like his predecessor. While it's true that Coach Slate has looked a bit like Joe Rockhead in the first few games, Mac-10, Larry Brown, and even Phil Jackson haven't gotten off to great starts with their new teams, either. It takes a while for teams to adjust to a new system, so it's a little early to pass judgment on the coach. I'll give him two weeks.

Trade the Players. Are you sick of seeing Flip "The Human Turnover" Murray dribble the ball out of bounds while Ray Allen stands unguarded two feet away? Tired of hearing Vlad "Not-So-Rad,Man" whine about minutes while shooting worse than Reggie Evans? Are you ranting on sports boards across the Internet about how we should trade these bums? Well, you can stop ranting, because these guys are going nowhere. Due to the recently signed CBA, Vlad, Evans, and Flip cannot be traded due to their one-year contracts. Which means, unless you want to trade Ray or Rashard, we're basically stuck with the crew we've got.

Give Up All Hope. This is the method I usually resort to when dealing with early-season suckitude. It's still a little early to flush this one down the tubes, though. Any team with Ray Allen has a chance. Does he need help? Of course. Could the coaching be better? Yes. Would playing some defense help? Duh. Obviously, there are a lot of things this team needs to improve if they want a shot at the playoffs. Luckily, it's a long season, and there's still time to fix the ship.

Game Night - Cavalier Attitude

Not much time today for insightful remiscenses about the Cavaliers. And, being that the game has already started, I won't be a lame-ass and predict how the Sonics will do. Of course, if they fail to score 70 points again, you may tune in Thursday to see that supersonicsoul.com has changed its name to pleasecomebacknate.com.

GAME NIGHT - Grizzly

When I first moved to Vancouver a decade ago, about the only thing that reminded me of the U.S. was the Grizzlies. Between the metric system, Celsius, an obsession with America’s ignorance of Canadian culture (whatever that is), and all the other bizarro-world qualities of Canada, at least I had the NBA. I was even fortunate enough to glom onto a press pass for a couple of years, enabling me to see Bryant Reeves far closer than any man should.

With the departure of Stromile Swift to Houston, the only remaining piece of Vancouver Grizzlies’ basketball has left the franchise. Yes, there are remnants of Vancouver scattered throughout the league – a Bibby here, an Abdur-Rahim there – but they left the franchise long ago. Stro was the last link to a dismal franchise, and now even he has left the ship.

I suppose I may be the only person bemoaning Stromile Swift’s presence – or, rather, the lack thereof – on Memphis’ roster. In our world, we quickly move from what was to what is, and, besides, nostalgia is a vain emotion at best.

Still, I miss the Grizzlies. In a way, rooting for the Grizzlies in Vancouver was like rooting for the Mariners in the 1980s – another fruitless passion of mine. Neither team rewarded us with many victories, but there was something to be said for staying with your team despite the ridicule you faced from other, much-wiser fans (in fact, if you replace the Seahawks with the Canucks, you’d get a pretty good picture of what it was like). Just as I vividly remember being mocked for rooting for Phil Bradley and Mike Moore, I just as vividly remember the joy in seeing Shareef post another 20-10 game, or Big Country putting on his bi-monthly displays of skill.

In any event, the Sonics play the Grizzlies tonight in Memphis. Somewhere, Grant Long and Cherokee Parks are watching.

SPREAD: Grizzlies by 4 1/2
OVER/UNDER: 188

The Griz turned in a good-ol’ fashioned barn-burner the other night against the Cavs, winning 113-106 behind 29 from Sr. Gasol. Like Seattle, Memphis will be spending much of the next two weeks on the road, so they’ve got high motivation to grab a win here. That said, the Sonics played well against the Griz last year, taking both games in Memphis. Add in the Grizzlies’ weak rebounding and the Sonics’ strong showing in that department, and you’re looking at what could be a very winnable game for Seattle.

PICK: Seattle 102 – Grizzlies 96
PETE’S RECORD: 0-1

Early Returns

I wouldn't normally project results from such minimal samples, but, heck, if the networks can pick who the next president will be after eight guys in New Hampshire cast their votes, well, it can't be that wrong, can it?

• Through 2 games, Ray Allen is, quite obviously, the greatest player in Sonic history through 2 games. How much does he help the Sonics' offense? Well, Seattle is averaging 40 fewer points per 48 minutes with him wearing a warmup jackup than without.
• The Sonics are holding opponent 2 guards to 7 points a game.
• Flip Murray's stats are so bad, it makes me wish for Jon Sundvold.
• Did you know? Danny Fortson leads the NBA in fouls/game.

Other important tidbits gleaned from other sources: Mateen Cleaves has replaced Flip Murray in the rotation, at least temporarily. It appears he will join the Omen in a high-energy "spark off the bench" type thing. Thank you, Mr. Flint ... Rick Brunson is on the inactive list with a sore left foot he reinjured in the Clipper game. Not known if he'll play against the Grizzlies on Tuesday night.