Super Suckers?

I was going to run a poll yesterday asking readers if they thought the Sonics sucked. After last night's pathetic showing against the Cleveland Cavaliers, however, the question is moot— the Sonics are indeed sucking. The question now is can the sucking be stopped, and if so, how? Here are the solutions people usually come up with when their favorite team is tanking:

Fire the Coach. This is always a popular choice, especially in this case when the coach isn't a Sonics legend like his predecessor. While it's true that Coach Slate has looked a bit like Joe Rockhead in the first few games, Mac-10, Larry Brown, and even Phil Jackson haven't gotten off to great starts with their new teams, either. It takes a while for teams to adjust to a new system, so it's a little early to pass judgment on the coach. I'll give him two weeks.

Trade the Players. Are you sick of seeing Flip "The Human Turnover" Murray dribble the ball out of bounds while Ray Allen stands unguarded two feet away? Tired of hearing Vlad "Not-So-Rad,Man" whine about minutes while shooting worse than Reggie Evans? Are you ranting on sports boards across the Internet about how we should trade these bums? Well, you can stop ranting, because these guys are going nowhere. Due to the recently signed CBA, Vlad, Evans, and Flip cannot be traded due to their one-year contracts. Which means, unless you want to trade Ray or Rashard, we're basically stuck with the crew we've got.

Give Up All Hope. This is the method I usually resort to when dealing with early-season suckitude. It's still a little early to flush this one down the tubes, though. Any team with Ray Allen has a chance. Does he need help? Of course. Could the coaching be better? Yes. Would playing some defense help? Duh. Obviously, there are a lot of things this team needs to improve if they want a shot at the playoffs. Luckily, it's a long season, and there's still time to fix the ship.

Game Night - Cavalier Attitude

Not much time today for insightful remiscenses about the Cavaliers. And, being that the game has already started, I won't be a lame-ass and predict how the Sonics will do. Of course, if they fail to score 70 points again, you may tune in Thursday to see that supersonicsoul.com has changed its name to pleasecomebacknate.com.

GAME NIGHT - Grizzly

When I first moved to Vancouver a decade ago, about the only thing that reminded me of the U.S. was the Grizzlies. Between the metric system, Celsius, an obsession with America’s ignorance of Canadian culture (whatever that is), and all the other bizarro-world qualities of Canada, at least I had the NBA. I was even fortunate enough to glom onto a press pass for a couple of years, enabling me to see Bryant Reeves far closer than any man should.

With the departure of Stromile Swift to Houston, the only remaining piece of Vancouver Grizzlies’ basketball has left the franchise. Yes, there are remnants of Vancouver scattered throughout the league – a Bibby here, an Abdur-Rahim there – but they left the franchise long ago. Stro was the last link to a dismal franchise, and now even he has left the ship.

I suppose I may be the only person bemoaning Stromile Swift’s presence – or, rather, the lack thereof – on Memphis’ roster. In our world, we quickly move from what was to what is, and, besides, nostalgia is a vain emotion at best.

Still, I miss the Grizzlies. In a way, rooting for the Grizzlies in Vancouver was like rooting for the Mariners in the 1980s – another fruitless passion of mine. Neither team rewarded us with many victories, but there was something to be said for staying with your team despite the ridicule you faced from other, much-wiser fans (in fact, if you replace the Seahawks with the Canucks, you’d get a pretty good picture of what it was like). Just as I vividly remember being mocked for rooting for Phil Bradley and Mike Moore, I just as vividly remember the joy in seeing Shareef post another 20-10 game, or Big Country putting on his bi-monthly displays of skill.

In any event, the Sonics play the Grizzlies tonight in Memphis. Somewhere, Grant Long and Cherokee Parks are watching.

SPREAD: Grizzlies by 4 1/2
OVER/UNDER: 188

The Griz turned in a good-ol’ fashioned barn-burner the other night against the Cavs, winning 113-106 behind 29 from Sr. Gasol. Like Seattle, Memphis will be spending much of the next two weeks on the road, so they’ve got high motivation to grab a win here. That said, the Sonics played well against the Griz last year, taking both games in Memphis. Add in the Grizzlies’ weak rebounding and the Sonics’ strong showing in that department, and you’re looking at what could be a very winnable game for Seattle.

PICK: Seattle 102 – Grizzlies 96
PETE’S RECORD: 0-1