Game Night: Net Nation

Will this be the final time the Sonics travel to the Meadowlands? With the impending move of the Nets to Brooklyn, Seattle beat writers will no longer be able to use the "in the shadows of Giants Stadium" in their columns, or national writers reference how many wins the Nets will have relative to the Jets.

Yes, Pearl Washington, it's true, New Jersey will no longer have a team. Of course, tonight's game between two teams that were considered to be two legit playoff teams has turned into a miasma befitting the garden state. For the love of Tony Soprano, will somebody put these two clubs out of their misery?

Halleluiah!

Praise the Lord and pass the Crunk——the Sonics actually won a game today, beating the Toronto Raptors 126-121 in overtime. Of course, they blew an 18-point lead in the fourth to the worst team in the league, but losers can't be choosers so we'll take what we can get! Here are some things that immediately leap from the box score:

- Lewis was obviously the star today, scoring 41 points, but check out the free throws: 14-16! Does this mean Shard is finally going to be more aggressive and start playing with some passion, or is it just another Derrick McKey-like tease? Only time will tell.

- After being benched for two games, Petro Power not only started, but had his best NBA game so far, grabbing 10 boards in 38 minutes. Nice job, Le Pew!

- Look who didn't suck today: Flip Murray! 15 points in 29 minutes is exactly the kind of performance we need from Flipper. (Of course, he had three turnovers, but hey, Ray-Ray had six and you don't hear me squawking!)

- Look who barely played: (Not so) Radman! Despite the extra quarter, the rat-tailed one only played 13 minutes. Guess who's going to be bitching to his agent tonight?

(P.S. It's been brought to my attention that I forgot to mention Nick "Caveman" Collison's excellent game (20pts, 10 boards). As usual, Ni-Co's no-frills brilliance flew under my radar—sorry Nick!)

Super Suckers?

I was going to run a poll yesterday asking readers if they thought the Sonics sucked. After last night's pathetic showing against the Cleveland Cavaliers, however, the question is moot— the Sonics are indeed sucking. The question now is can the sucking be stopped, and if so, how? Here are the solutions people usually come up with when their favorite team is tanking:

Fire the Coach. This is always a popular choice, especially in this case when the coach isn't a Sonics legend like his predecessor. While it's true that Coach Slate has looked a bit like Joe Rockhead in the first few games, Mac-10, Larry Brown, and even Phil Jackson haven't gotten off to great starts with their new teams, either. It takes a while for teams to adjust to a new system, so it's a little early to pass judgment on the coach. I'll give him two weeks.

Trade the Players. Are you sick of seeing Flip "The Human Turnover" Murray dribble the ball out of bounds while Ray Allen stands unguarded two feet away? Tired of hearing Vlad "Not-So-Rad,Man" whine about minutes while shooting worse than Reggie Evans? Are you ranting on sports boards across the Internet about how we should trade these bums? Well, you can stop ranting, because these guys are going nowhere. Due to the recently signed CBA, Vlad, Evans, and Flip cannot be traded due to their one-year contracts. Which means, unless you want to trade Ray or Rashard, we're basically stuck with the crew we've got.

Give Up All Hope. This is the method I usually resort to when dealing with early-season suckitude. It's still a little early to flush this one down the tubes, though. Any team with Ray Allen has a chance. Does he need help? Of course. Could the coaching be better? Yes. Would playing some defense help? Duh. Obviously, there are a lot of things this team needs to improve if they want a shot at the playoffs. Luckily, it's a long season, and there's still time to fix the ship.