Sonics Halftime Report

I was at last night's game, and I think it summed up the first half of the season pretty well: brief moments of brilliance completely negated by the final score. Here are some random thoughts I had while sitting in a half-full (or half-empty?) Key Arena last night:

• Kurt Thomas is the worst finisher in the NBA.
• Luke Ridnour and Kevin Durant should really spend more time together.
• Do you think a few of the Jazz have been using Karl Malone's "muscle cream"?
• There have been some pretty ugly guys in the NBA. Andrei Kirilenko is the ugliest. For the sake of the human race, let's hope this AK-47 is shooting blanks.
• I would rather see Delonte West on the court than Earl Watson. 
• Were the "Dunking Ushers" really the best halftime show the Sonics could come up with? Especially since they already used them between quarters? And about 4000 TIMES THIS SEASON? Is this organization even trying to entertain us anymore? I hate you, Sonics Halftime Coordinator. 
• The Sonics played great defense for almost the entire second quarter.
• Was Nick Collison really the best choice to talk about Black History Month?
• Anyone cheering for the Utah Jazz at a Sonics game in Seattle should be beaten to death. Even if they're children.
• The Sonics would have a much better record if games were only three quarters.

Loss, Break, Change

Unable to convince Jerry Sloan prior to the game of the wisdom of resting his five starters, the Sonics wound up falling to the Jazz last night at the Key, before an announced crowd of about 10,000.

The loss, as you are well aware, leads us into the all-star break, and gives the Sonics a chance to pause alongside the calamity that is the 2007-08 season and take a breath. Percy Allen, at the Times, gives insight into the changes that may be headed our way:

Coach P.J. Carlesimo intends to use the second half of the season to evaluate players such as C Robert Swift, C Johan Petro, G Luke Ridnour, swingman Delonte West and Gelebale at the expense of others, including starters.

So there you go. If you have Earl Watson on your fantasy league, perhaps this might be a good time to sell high. If you're utilizing Kurt Thomas to boost your rebound totals, well, maybe you ought to think about doing the same.

The obvious conclusion to be drawn from the expected changes are this: If the Sonics are one of the worst teams in basketball when they give their best players the most minutes, to what unforeseen levels will they sink when they start playing the guys who aren't as good? Do we need to get James Cameron involved in documenting the second half of the season?

Mystery Team

C: Shaquille O’Neal
PF: Eddy Curry
SF: Luol Deng
SG: LeBron James
PG: Tony Parker
Bench: Brent Barry, Sasha Pavlovic, Anderson Varejao, Stephon Marbury, Ty Thomas, Brad Miller, Beno Udrih

Quite a list, huh? I’ll give you one minute to come up with the association between that mad-cap group of semi-stars and superstars.

Give up? If you’re a Sonic fan, it’s a cinch. It’s the list of opposing players who sat in street clothes (or waved to teammates from suites) in contests with Seattle in the past two weeks.

At this point, I could trot out the whole “See, the Sonics suck, despite their recent spate of wins” article, but, honestly, who am I arguing with, other than 7-year-olds who think Kevin Durant is the NBA MVP? We all know the Sonics are awful, and even four wins in five games isn’t going to change that.

Still, it’s shocking when you add up all the recent missing persons into one unit. Are the Sonics the Typhoid Mary of the NBA now? Perhaps not, but if I’m Jerry Sloan, I’m keeping a close eye on Deron Williams for the next few days.