Tom Chambers, Peacock Farmer

Now that the Finals are completed, the playoffs are done, and the 2008-09 season is completely finished, we can get back to more serious matters.

Like peacock farming.

Former Sonic Tom Chambers, perhaps the blackest white man ever to emerge from the Great State of Utah, co-owns a ranch in North Ogden (town motto: "Suck it, South Ogden!") with his brother, Rob. And while most days things are all hunky-dory down on the farm, what with the cow-milking, grazing, and whatnot, there is trouble a-brewin': Peacock trouble.

Rachel Trotter of the Standard-Examiner reports that cocks from the Chambers' ranch have been wandering up and down 2550 (apparently, a road of some sort), wreaking havoc with traffic and neighboring homes. One neighbor, Gordon Butcher, told Trotter,

"... the peacocks wander onto his deck and he often gets a 5 a.m. wake-up call from at least one of the birds. The peacocks often defecate on his property as well."

Well, that's not very neighborly of them. Of course, Butcher decided to sic the cops on the Chamberseses, but Johnny Law is hesitant to get involved due to some extremely complicated County vs City/North Ogden vs Weber County nonsense that is entirely too intricate and just muddies up what is otherwise a wonderful, Keiller-esque story.

As it stands, the peacocks are free to roam the land, but if I were Gordon Butcher, I think I'd try to figure out a way to make the birds play some defense, because if they're anything like their owner, they'll just try for about 5 seconds and then wander away.