You’ve no doubt heard how Danny Fortson got out of traveling with the team to San Antonio and Oklahoma because of a dangerous tooth abcess, which his dentist allegedly said could “explode” on an airplane (let’s pray that the Taliban doesn’t read the Seattle Times).
All of which begs the question: What will Danny use as an excuse for the remaining seven games? At supersonicsoul.com, we’re all about finding the silver lining in the dark cloud that is this season. Here’s one man’s guess at possible excuses conjured up by the Round Mound of Puget Sound.
April 6th vs Lakers – Got stuck at King’s Table Buffet on Thursday/Friday. They closed at 11, but I hadn’t had all I could eat at that point; spent the night curled up under the omelet station and finished up the next day. When it says "All You Can Eat for $11.99," doesn't that mean I get all I can eat? Am I being too philosophical?
April 7th at Utah – Airport security forced me to remove my Mormon temple garments. I got into a theological debate with the security guard and they detained me, and I missed the flight.
April 9th vs Houston – Was at the salon having my pigtails cleaned when some dude called me Pippi Longstocking. Da Fort don’t stand for that mess. A King County sheriff threw me in the back of his car until we got it all straightened out.
April 11th at Phoenix – You know I don’t fool with those Colangelos no more.
April 14th at Portland – “Hey, Bob, I’m here at the Key. Where is everybody?”
April 15th at Lakers – After I missed the Portland game, I thought I’d catch an early flight to LA and catch up with you guys there. My cab driver took me Inglewood, then we found out the Lakers don’t play there no more (you gotta understand, when you only play once every six weeks, it’s easy to forget these kinda things). Right now I’m stuck on the 405 and I don’t think I’ll make it in time. Catch you back in Seattle, dudes.
April 18th vs Dallas – Sorry, King’s Table called about my outstanding bill. They said they’re gonna garnish my wages since I’ve been running up a tab there since that playoff run two years ago and haven’t paid it. Gotta go straighten it out. Don’t worry, though, I’ll be ready to go for summer training drills. You know Da Fort’s gonna catch on with somebody next year.
Thursday, April 5
Wednesday, April 4
Blackburn Uber Alles
Apparently, Bob Blackburn has a computer, and he's not afraid to use it.
If you haven't voted already, hop over to supersonics.com to vote for either the 1978-79 NBA Champions or Bob Blackburn (!) as the greatest icon in Seattle Supersonics' history.
It got me to thinking: Where does Blackburn rank in Seattle sports broadcasting history? Blackburn obviously had a head start on everyone, with the Sonics debuting 40 years ago, and he remains the only broadcaster to call a professional sports championship in Seattle history (not including the Seattle Metropolitans, winners of the Stanley Cup in 1917; their broadcasts were done using signal flares, and, hence, do not count).
Every city has its favorites, and Seattle's been blessed with some great announcers. Neihaus, Pete Gross, Blackburn, Calabro, Raible, ... how do you rank the greats?
Well, here's one attempt:
1. Dave Neihaus ("Looooooow and outside")
2. Pete Gross ("Touchdown Seahawks!")
3. Bob Blackburn ("And Williams throws the ball into the air!")
4. Kevin Calabro ("Oh, Shawn, nobody do the voodoo like you do!")
5. Bob Rondeau ("Touchdown Washington!")
Your results may vary.
If you haven't voted already, hop over to supersonics.com to vote for either the 1978-79 NBA Champions or Bob Blackburn (!) as the greatest icon in Seattle Supersonics' history.
It got me to thinking: Where does Blackburn rank in Seattle sports broadcasting history? Blackburn obviously had a head start on everyone, with the Sonics debuting 40 years ago, and he remains the only broadcaster to call a professional sports championship in Seattle history (not including the Seattle Metropolitans, winners of the Stanley Cup in 1917; their broadcasts were done using signal flares, and, hence, do not count).
Every city has its favorites, and Seattle's been blessed with some great announcers. Neihaus, Pete Gross, Blackburn, Calabro, Raible, ... how do you rank the greats?
Well, here's one attempt:
1. Dave Neihaus ("Looooooow and outside")
2. Pete Gross ("Touchdown Seahawks!")
3. Bob Blackburn ("And Williams throws the ball into the air!")
4. Kevin Calabro ("Oh, Shawn, nobody do the voodoo like you do!")
5. Bob Rondeau ("Touchdown Washington!")
Your results may vary.
Tuesday, April 3
One Shining Moment
I don’t know about the rest of you, but while I watch the NCAA championship every year, it’s usually with a sour taste in my mouth, because none of the teams in my bracket advanced that far, or if they did, I’m still out of it and have no shot at winning the pool.
Last night, though, was different, for a couple of reasons.
First, it was the first time my 3-year-old daughter actually sat still for an extended period of time and watched a sporting event. Mind you, I’m not complaining about her general state of hyperactivity – the one thing kids need less of in this part of the world is sitting still and watching tv – but it was enjoyable to see her attention span extend beyond 35 seconds.
For some reason, she took a shine to Ohio State (or as she calls them, “the red guys”). Maybe it was Greg Oden, maybe it was Ron Smith, or maybe it was the fact her dad was shouting PG obscenities whenever Florida scored. Regardless, for pretty much the entire second half she sat next to me on the couch and rooted for OSU.
From yelling at Joakim Noah (“I don’t like that ponytailed guy”) to inventing cheers (“Go red guys, go!” “Hey white guys, let the red guys win!”), she had a blast. She even explained to her grandfather that Noah isn’t a nice guy (“He’s always yelling, bapa. Yelling’s not nice, right? That’s why we don’t like that ponytailed guy.”)
That was part of it, for sure. Add in the fact I got to watch basketball for a solid 2 hours without her asking me to put on Dora was the cherry on top (sadly, though, she seemed to be riveted by those annoying car insurance ads featuring some cartooned woman trying to dunk over some sort of alien-type creature).
The other part was the talent on the court. I think that 15 years from now, we’ll all look back on this championship game as something special. While Oden was obviously the best player on the court, this wasn’t a case of a giant amongst midgets. Oden’s teammates (Conley, Smith, et al) are also talented, and it’s possible he won’t be the only guy on his team to play in the NBA. And, of course, it seems as though every guy Billy Donovan trotted out onto the court for Florida was NBA-ready.
It all means that 5, 6, 10 years from now, we could be watching an NBA all-star game featuring Oden, Noah, and Horford, and we’ll all look back at last night and remember they were all on the same court together, the way I remember seeing UNLV play at the Kingdome against Seton Hall.
For one night at least, I forgot all about the Sonics’ troubles, and remembered why I watch basketball in the first place: It’s a game that everyone can enjoy, regardless of whether they know nothing about it, or far, far too much.
Last night, though, was different, for a couple of reasons.
First, it was the first time my 3-year-old daughter actually sat still for an extended period of time and watched a sporting event. Mind you, I’m not complaining about her general state of hyperactivity – the one thing kids need less of in this part of the world is sitting still and watching tv – but it was enjoyable to see her attention span extend beyond 35 seconds.
For some reason, she took a shine to Ohio State (or as she calls them, “the red guys”). Maybe it was Greg Oden, maybe it was Ron Smith, or maybe it was the fact her dad was shouting PG obscenities whenever Florida scored. Regardless, for pretty much the entire second half she sat next to me on the couch and rooted for OSU.
From yelling at Joakim Noah (“I don’t like that ponytailed guy”) to inventing cheers (“Go red guys, go!” “Hey white guys, let the red guys win!”), she had a blast. She even explained to her grandfather that Noah isn’t a nice guy (“He’s always yelling, bapa. Yelling’s not nice, right? That’s why we don’t like that ponytailed guy.”)
That was part of it, for sure. Add in the fact I got to watch basketball for a solid 2 hours without her asking me to put on Dora was the cherry on top (sadly, though, she seemed to be riveted by those annoying car insurance ads featuring some cartooned woman trying to dunk over some sort of alien-type creature).
The other part was the talent on the court. I think that 15 years from now, we’ll all look back on this championship game as something special. While Oden was obviously the best player on the court, this wasn’t a case of a giant amongst midgets. Oden’s teammates (Conley, Smith, et al) are also talented, and it’s possible he won’t be the only guy on his team to play in the NBA. And, of course, it seems as though every guy Billy Donovan trotted out onto the court for Florida was NBA-ready.
It all means that 5, 6, 10 years from now, we could be watching an NBA all-star game featuring Oden, Noah, and Horford, and we’ll all look back at last night and remember they were all on the same court together, the way I remember seeing UNLV play at the Kingdome against Seton Hall.
For one night at least, I forgot all about the Sonics’ troubles, and remembered why I watch basketball in the first place: It’s a game that everyone can enjoy, regardless of whether they know nothing about it, or far, far too much.
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