Spring in Seattle used to mean one thing: Playoff Basketball. However, that ain’t the case any more, and it’s amazing the difference at this time of year between being a fan of a playoff team and being a fan of, well, the Sonics.
While people in the fortunate places can stew over matchups, momentum, and all the rest, we’re bored as heck. That’s right, bored as heck.
Seriously, are you wound-up about the #5 pick in the draft? I’m not. This team is so utterly mired in mediocrity that unless that #5 pick turns out to be a player/coach/GM who can dunk from the 3-point line it isn’t going to make a huge difference in wins and losses next season.
Likewise, I’m a little less than thrilled about the coaching possibilities being mentioned. Sam Mitchell? You mean the same guy that “guided” the Raptors to 60 wins in his first two seasons? Honestly, don’t you feel that this year’s Raptors were more than a little reminiscent of the 2003-04 Sonics, a team that went from crap to king to crap again faster than you can say Big Snacks?
Add in the Man Behind the Curtain, Lenny Wilkens, and you can see why Sonic fans are on the blase side this spring. Rather than arguing about how we’re going to be able to pawn Earl Watson and Johan Petro off on some unsuspecting sucker, we’re wondering about who the heck is going to be in charge of everything.
It’s an unsettling spring in Seattle. From Oklahoma Clay to Lenny’s version of “The Apprentice” to Rashard Lewis, everything’s up in the air.
There have been better springs in Seattle, for sure, but I don’t think there have been any worse.
Thursday, May 10
Friday, May 4
We Feel Your Pain
A moment, if you please, for the Mavericks fan.
I know, empathizing with Mark Cuban after a playoff loss is like feeling sorrow for Donald Trump on a bad hair day, but I’m not referring to the Dallas owner, I’m talking about the fans.
You see, Mavericks fan, we know how it feels. At this moment, the entire country is in love with the team that took from you what was rightfully yours. This upstart #8 seed with raucous fans, a ragtag group roster of underachievers, has stolen your entry in the second round; kept you from traveling to the NBA Finals to reclaim what the officials took from you last June.
Sonic fans feel your pain, Mavericks fan. We feel it every time the networks re-run that clip of Dikembe Mutombo clasping the ball to his chest while lying flat on the Colisseum floor. We know what it’s like when the country gets enamored with the underdog, and roots for the lowly seeded upstarts to knock off the expected champion.
You think we don’t still feel the disgust of watching John Elway, that horse-faced jerk, taunting us from the sidelines while the Nuggets began their comeback in Denver? Please, Mavericks fan, don’t insult us.
And Mavericks fan, don’t expect the pain to gradually subside – it will not. If your team fails on a scale such as this, the pain lingers. First, an open wound for a couple of years; then, a deep scar; and, finally, a mark that never leaves.
Like I said, a moment for the Mavericks fan.
Oh, and Maverick fan? Just be thankful your team isn’t owned by someone from Oklahoma.
I know, empathizing with Mark Cuban after a playoff loss is like feeling sorrow for Donald Trump on a bad hair day, but I’m not referring to the Dallas owner, I’m talking about the fans.
You see, Mavericks fan, we know how it feels. At this moment, the entire country is in love with the team that took from you what was rightfully yours. This upstart #8 seed with raucous fans, a ragtag group roster of underachievers, has stolen your entry in the second round; kept you from traveling to the NBA Finals to reclaim what the officials took from you last June.
Sonic fans feel your pain, Mavericks fan. We feel it every time the networks re-run that clip of Dikembe Mutombo clasping the ball to his chest while lying flat on the Colisseum floor. We know what it’s like when the country gets enamored with the underdog, and roots for the lowly seeded upstarts to knock off the expected champion.
You think we don’t still feel the disgust of watching John Elway, that horse-faced jerk, taunting us from the sidelines while the Nuggets began their comeback in Denver? Please, Mavericks fan, don’t insult us.
And Mavericks fan, don’t expect the pain to gradually subside – it will not. If your team fails on a scale such as this, the pain lingers. First, an open wound for a couple of years; then, a deep scar; and, finally, a mark that never leaves.
Like I said, a moment for the Mavericks fan.
Oh, and Maverick fan? Just be thankful your team isn’t owned by someone from Oklahoma.
Wednesday, May 2
Danny Fortson: Cyborg Smasher #2, Page 2
Yes, we're still working on this dumb thing. And the comics too.
Remind me why we started doing this again? Oh, that's right.
The Love.
Here's Part Two of the FINAL ISSUE of
"DANNY FORTSON: CYBORG SMASHER."
Please, lord, let me be done with this before 07-08 training camp...
Rated PG-13 for language, man boobs
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