Big, Red and Scary: The Return of Robert Swift

Robert Swift working his way back from the brink (insert cheesy 80's montage here).

This morning's P.I. reports on the coming resurrection of our seven-foot Sonics-savior, Robert Swift.

Apparently through hours of weight-lifting and high-level doses of AC-DC, Swift has transformed himself from a painfully awkward nerd, blessed only with the gift of freakish height, to a 280-pound, tattooed bad-ass that could make the Undertaker soil his tights.

So the re-birth of the Great White Hope should pretty much guarantee the Sonics a playoff spot next year, right?

After all, according to former Sonics coach Bob Hill and others, the absence of "Continental Drift" Swift from the line-up last year doomed the team from the start, and was the single biggest reason for the abyss of awfulness that was the 2006-2007 season.

Right.

While the glimpse of potential we saw at the end of '05-'06 was intriguing, last year's team needed a lot more than Rich King on steroids to save it. They had two mediocre point guards who spent most of the season bitching and sniping like rejects from America's Top Model. They had the Invisible Man looking like Spencer Haywood one night, then disappearing into the mist the next. The lone highlight was a one-dimensional superstar (but what a dimension it was!) who could pile up points but had the defensive strength of a girl scout cookie.

But Robert Swift would have put them in the playoffs!

And what if he did? What if the Big Red Wall could have been the difference on defense that the Sonics desperately needed last year? What if it helped raise the team from pathetic to passable, launching the Sonics into a respectable first round loss in the playoffs? What would the Sonics have gained? Or, more importantly, what would they have lost?

How about Kevin Durant?

As painful as last season was, it did help set the team up for perhaps their greatest draft pick ever. A lanky superstar who could shoot like Ray Allen, block shots like Shawn Kemp, and play with the passion of Gary Payton. The Über-Sonic.

And if Swift had played last year, Durant might be in Atlanta.

Swifty could very well help the Sonics make the playoffs this season, but for his non-play last year, he might be the ultimate MVP.

Bosh Out; Collison In?

With Chris Bosh out of action with plantar fasciitis, Nick Collison has suddenly become a viable big-man option for Team USA.

In fact, with the roster now down to 15 guys (14, if you don't count JJ Redick), here are the PF/C options for Team USA:

Amare Stoudemire
Tyson Chandler
Dwight Howard
Carmelo Anthony

I suppose you could throw in Durant as a possibility at the 4, but I don't think he'll be playing there, if he even makes the team at all. 12 guys will make the team, and here are the nine automatics, in my mind:

Anthony, Billups, Kobe, Chandler, Howard, LBJ, Kidd, Stoudemire, Deron Williams

That leaves these five folks competing for three spots:

Collison, Durant, Mike Miller, Michael Redd, Tayshaun Prince

Team USA is already loaded at small forward, so Miller is a long-shot, although his outside shooting would come in handy; it's possible that Miller/Redd will get one spot, and Prince, Durant, and Collison will compete for the other two. Of those three, Prince is the most valuable for his defense on multiple positions, Durant would be a nice piece to aid in his development down the road for Team USA, and Collison gets the edge for being able to play 4 or 5.

It all depends on how many big men Coach K wants to have with him. But if you look at it from a fouls to give perspective, it makes alot of sense to have an extra big guy in case Amare gets into foul trouble.

Bottom line? I think Collison's chances of playing against Brazil just got a whole lot better.

El Capitan

With Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis gone to new pastures this season, the obvious choices for Sonic captain have gone with them. It begs the question: Who will be the team captain this year?

The best player on the team - Kevin Durant - can't even order a drink at a bar (unless he comes to Vancouver, that is), so I'm guessing he's out, as is fellow rookie Jeff Green.

Johan Petro? No, merci. Mickael Gelabale? Great hair, but no. Wally Szczerbiak? Well, you'd like your captain to be able to, you know, play more 30 games before blowing an ankle, so Wally's out. Chris Wilcox? I doubt he'd be interested and you kind of get the feeling that Wilcox is always a bad game away from Benoit Benjamin territory. Damien Wilkins? He's got the captain-type attitude and is a stand-up guy, but he lacks the minutes or veteran presence. Delonte West is too fresh on the scene to merit the honor. I won't mention Mo Sene, and Robert Swift's got plenty of other things to worry about this year, so cross them both off the list.

That leaves four candidates - Kurt Thomas, Earl Watson, Luke Ridnour, and Nick Collison. Personally, I think that nominating either Watson or Ridnour is a decision fraught with peril because of the way it would anger the other one, so eliminate the both of them.

Which means Thomas and Collison are the only two legitimate options. Here are the reasons pro/con for both:

THOMAS
PRO: Tougher than a well-done steak at Denny's, knows all the referees in the league (and their middle names), respected throughout the league, extensive experience.
CON: New to the club, might be a one-year wonder in Seattle, limited playing time.

COLLISON
PRO: Team USA experience, young-and-improving player, great attitude, aggressive player, doesn't hide from challenges, been with the team for a few years and may be around for years to come.
CON: Not a great player, makes plenty of mistakes (i.e., fouls), has ups and downs, likely won't be a starter (although Thomas may not, either), doesn't have Thomas' league-wide respect.

Weighing all the options, I'm siding with Kurt Thomas, at least for this season, with perhaps Nick as an "assistant captain." Feel free to add your insults in the comments.