Top secret Sonics deal in works?

Mayor-Wan, you're our only hope!

Several sources close to the situation (who, for some reason, felt they could confide in Supersonicsoul, aka Queen Blabbermouth) have claimed that the city may be soon unleashing a new plan to save our Sonics. What could the Council of Doom Boom have in mind? Tax breaks for a new arena? A supergroup of local millionaires to make Clay an offer he can't refuse? Did they hire Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law?

(You have to wonder if the recently announced Hornets deal might be triggering some panic in the current ownership group--maybe Oklahoma doesn't look like such a safe bet after all.)

According to my Deep Throats, the announcement could come as early as tomorrow. All right, Supersonicsouliacs, let the wild speculations start . . . now.

300 Million reasons to keep the Sonics

Just look at that decrepit shack--it's nearly 15 years old!

As the Sonics continue their Bataan Death March, I thought I'd try to lighten the mood by sharing a piece I performed at a Save Our Sonics fundraiser last fall (and which was brutally paraphrased in a New York Times article last year):

As you might have heard, the Sonics are going to leave town unless we give them (at least) $300 million dollars for a new stadium. Since I’m a big basketball fan, I decided to make a list of 300 millions reasons why we should keep the Sonics. So far, I’ve come up with seven:

1) A lot of people think the $300 million dollars could be spent on “More Important Things”, like housing for the homeless. Let me ask you this: how many homeless people can dunk?

2) If Sonics point guard Luke Ridnour is not allowed to express his love for Jesus Christ on the basketball court, he might have to find somewhere else to do it—like in your pants.

3) Where else am I going to be able to pay seven dollars for a pretzel? Did I mention they were magic pretzels?

4) NBA games offer a safe place for closeted homosexuals to hang out with their straight friends, while secretly lusting after the giant, scantly clad men running around on the basketball court. Or so I’m told.

5) Everyone wants to help the less fortunate, but who stops to help the millionaires?

6) If the Sonics leave town, the Sonics Dance Team will be forced to return to their previous occupation: Iranian Death Squad Recruiters.

7) In 1979, the Seattle Supersonics won the NBA Championship. Have you?

Feel free to add to the list in the comments. Oh, and if you get a chance, please vote for me in the Famecast comedy competition. You can vote once a day, so feel free to stuff the (virtual) ballot boxes.

The Girls did it. Why can't we?

Well, we've got one pro basketball team staying in town:

Anne Levinson is a political dynamo, having served as a judge, chairwoman of the Washington State Utilities and Transportation Commission and deputy mayor of Seattle.

She's also a Seattle Storm season-ticket holder, and by the end of February, Levinson and three well-heeled friends will own the team they spend summers rooting for.

Levinson, Lisa Brummel, Ginny Gilder and Dawn Trudeau are in the process of buying the Storm from Clayton Bennett for $10 million, ensuring that the Women's National Basketball Association franchise remains here even if Bennett gets his wish and moves the Sonics to Oklahoma City.

Levinson said the group is buying the team for Storm fans and the community.

"This is driven by the enthusiasm of the fans," she said. "When you see Storm fans renewing their season tickets in the middle of complete uncertainty, saying, 'No, we want you here. This is important to us. Show us some support,' it's nearly impossible to turn that down."

Read the rest in the Seattle Times

So, what does this mean for us Sonics fans? Probably nothing. Clay had no interest in the Storm whatsoever and finding someone to buy the team is as much of a victory for Bubba and his Okie Woman Haters Club as the city of Seattle.

The interesting thing about this deal is the remarkable way it came together: four rich basketball fans buy their favorite team. Can you imagine if that happened with the Sonics? The Seattle Times' dares to dream about Sonics Super-fan Steve Ballmer sweeping in as a big, bald white knight. Granted, the Sonics aren't for sale, but as the Million Dollar Man used to say, everything is for sale if you have enough money.