New Stadium Plan No Hoax

With former Sonic Fred Brown and NBA legend Bill Russell on hand, Wong Doody played host to a, well, interesting press conference on Tuesday morning in Seattle.

The stadium proposal - tenatively termed the Emerald City Arena - offered, among other items:

-100 % privately funded ("the era of public funded arenas - at least in this region - is over")
-A possible retractable roof
-Locating the facility on the waterfront so that it would become the face of Seattle a la Sydney's Opera House, or near SoDo, or at the existing Seattle Center location, or on Mars, whichever works best
-Integrating an NHL and/or Arena Football team
-Eliminating luxury suites and introducing something called "private common areas"
-Pacific Northwest Sports Hall of Fame
-Open 365 days of year with all sorts of non-sports incomes
-An unknown group of investors

I'll try to put up some more information in time, but thought I should throw out a rough sketch initially. This whole thing sounds a little too vague and fantasy-land on first impression, as if it belonged more at a World's Fair than a real proposal. For example, there was no talk about specific investors and the plan is for an expansion team - not the Sonics - which the NBA has already stated it is not interested in doing.

According to Fred Brown, "We're not in competition with anybody." Well, except for the Ballmer group and every Sonic fan in Seattle who wants to see the initial plan succeed, he's absolutely right. And reality, because this plan is definitely in competition with reality.

If you feel like wasting 20 minutes of your life, you can visit www.emeraldcitycenter.com for more information.

SHOCKER: Bennett and Stern get married

It was bound to happen.

Seattle Sonics owner Clay Bennett and NBA commissioner David Stern were married today in a private ceremony in Sweden.

"We've been in bed together over this whole Sonics deal, so I figured it was time to make an honest man out of Davey" Bennett joked.

"Plus, the sex is terrific," Stern added.

After the ceremony, the bridal bouquet was caught by the maid of honor, Aubrey McClendon.

"It was a beautiful wedding," said McClendon, dressed in a dazzling white evening gown. "There was nothing gay about it. This was an affirmation of two men's manly love for each other. You know, like pirates."

"Pirates who like to have sex with each other!" Stern shouted, giving McClendon a swift whack on the seat of his pants.

The newlyweds will be honeymooning at the posh "Steer's Rear" resort in scenic Oklahoma City. In lieu of gifts, the couple requests that donations be made in their names to the NBA civic demolition department.

Wayback Machine

The Sonics stink. It’s okay to say it; we’re not exactly hurting any sacred cows by stating the obvious, right?

There’s plenty of talk about whether Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley would better help the Sonics, about which player would be the best fit via free agency, or whom Sam Presti should send packing this summer.

All of that is important to the future of the franchise (as is, of course, where the team will be playing, but we’re all a bit tired of that, right?). But part of the fun of being a Sonic fan – heck, all of the fun these days – is remembering the better days, when Shawn Kemp dunked, Gary Payton scowled, Tom Chambers gunned, and Gus Williams wizarded.

Which leads me to this, if you could pluck one player from Sonic history and transplant them to 2008, who would you grab? Would it be Payton and his non-stop talk and defense? Or would you rather see what Kemp and Durant could do in combination?

What about Spencer Haywood; he’d be a nice fit alongside Green and Durant, right? Don’t forget Jack Sikma’s scoring abilities as a big man, or DJ’s leadership as a combo guard, or Gus’ ability to score 30 points in any game. You can’t forget the X-Man, not if you’re a real fan, anyway, although the Sonics need another small forward about as much as they need out-of-state ownership.

Personally, I’m going with Payton without hesitation. You put vintage GP at the point, swing KD to the 3, use Green as a swingman between the 3 and 4, trade Earl/Ridnour/Wilcox to get a serviceable 2 in the summer and now you’ve got yourself a team.

Of course, you have to factor in Gary’s continuing desire to destroy the confidence of younger players, but I’m guessing he’d act a little different around a youngster such as Kevin Durant than he would around, say, Moochie Norris.

It’s ridiculous fantasy, I know, but when your team is on the verge of leaving for Oklahoma and entering the lottery in the same season, well, you don’t have much else, now do you?