There are, I would imagine, more than 1,000 possible names a 6-year-old girl's soccer team could choose. Pixies, Wildcats, Princesses ... the number of ideas is endless, really.
And so, dear reader, it was with much excitement that I attended my daughter's first game on the road to her earning a full athletic scholarship to the University of Oregon. At the dinner table the night before her first game (at which time the team would pick their name), we bandied about some options: the Lucky Ducks (my wife and I went to Oregon, if you weren't aware), the Wildcats (we're thinking of moving to Tucson), the Green Machine (her team has lime green unis), and others.
Personally, I was rooting for the Lucky Ducks, and we even came up with an inspired idea for how the team could run around quacking after they scored a goal.
Regardless, though, I was sure it would turn out well. I mean, come on, how bad could the team name be?
How bad? How about ... the Thunder?
That's right, me, the lead writer for a site devoted to loving the Sonics and hating the Thunder, so much so that I came up with a way to reference the team without even using that dreaded word ... I have to spend every Sunday for the next five months watching my beloved daughter shout, "Go Thunder Go!" whenever she's taking a break on the sidelines.
Personally, I'm thinking the only righteous solution to this situation is to buy her team, complain about the conditions at her field, and then move the team to Kansas City.
It's really the only option.