Ageless

I’m sure you know all about Julio Franco – a man who has defied age and continues to play major league baseball, even though he’s closer to 50 than 20.

The stories you read about Julio Franco focus on his amazing endurance in relation to other baseball-related themes (e.g., he started playing before Cal Ripken’s streak started, he’s older than Rickey Henderson, etc.).

But when it comes to comparisons, sometimes you only truly appreciate the awe-inspiring when it is taken out of its usual context and placed alongside foreign objects.

That being the case, let’s put Julio Franco in a broader context. Franco’s first season in the majors came in 1982, the same year as the Falkland Islands War, the first artificial heart, and the release of the Commodore 64.

But back to hoops. The 1982 all-rookie team in the NBA – remember, this is Franco’s first season – included Jeff Ruland, Isiah Thomas, Kelly Tripucka, Jay Vincent, and Buck Williams.

Think about that for a second ... Julio Franco and Buck Williams both broke in the same year. Buck Williams!

It gets better. That spring, while Franco was plying his trade with the Phillies alongside Pete Rose and Steve Carlton, the Sonics were featuring one Danny Vranes, like Franco a rookie, and, coincidentally the 5th overall pick in the draft that year. Of course, it should be mentioned that Danny Vranes is younger than Julio Franco.

In other sports news in Seattle from '82, Mike Tice made nine catches in his second year with the Seahawks and the team simultaneously saw the end of the Eras of Zorn and Patera. I should mention that Tice, now long-retired from playing and a former head coach, is younger than Julio Franco.

I could go on, and this is the second time I’ve written about Franco (the last being two years ago), but the man is inspiring. From his 5,000 calories a day to his sojourn in the Mexican Leagues ... Julio Franco, we salute you.

Spring has Sprung

Spring in Seattle used to mean one thing: Playoff Basketball. However, that ain’t the case any more, and it’s amazing the difference at this time of year between being a fan of a playoff team and being a fan of, well, the Sonics.

While people in the fortunate places can stew over matchups, momentum, and all the rest, we’re bored as heck. That’s right, bored as heck.

Seriously, are you wound-up about the #5 pick in the draft? I’m not. This team is so utterly mired in mediocrity that unless that #5 pick turns out to be a player/coach/GM who can dunk from the 3-point line it isn’t going to make a huge difference in wins and losses next season.

Likewise, I’m a little less than thrilled about the coaching possibilities being mentioned. Sam Mitchell? You mean the same guy that “guided” the Raptors to 60 wins in his first two seasons? Honestly, don’t you feel that this year’s Raptors were more than a little reminiscent of the 2003-04 Sonics, a team that went from crap to king to crap again faster than you can say Big Snacks?

Add in the Man Behind the Curtain, Lenny Wilkens, and you can see why Sonic fans are on the blase side this spring. Rather than arguing about how we’re going to be able to pawn Earl Watson and Johan Petro off on some unsuspecting sucker, we’re wondering about who the heck is going to be in charge of everything.

It’s an unsettling spring in Seattle. From Oklahoma Clay to Lenny’s version of “The Apprentice” to Rashard Lewis, everything’s up in the air.

There have been better springs in Seattle, for sure, but I don’t think there have been any worse.

We Feel Your Pain

A moment, if you please, for the Mavericks fan.

I know, empathizing with Mark Cuban after a playoff loss is like feeling sorrow for Donald Trump on a bad hair day, but I’m not referring to the Dallas owner, I’m talking about the fans.

You see, Mavericks fan, we know how it feels. At this moment, the entire country is in love with the team that took from you what was rightfully yours. This upstart #8 seed with raucous fans, a ragtag group roster of underachievers, has stolen your entry in the second round; kept you from traveling to the NBA Finals to reclaim what the officials took from you last June.

Sonic fans feel your pain, Mavericks fan. We feel it every time the networks re-run that clip of Dikembe Mutombo clasping the ball to his chest while lying flat on the Colisseum floor. We know what it’s like when the country gets enamored with the underdog, and roots for the lowly seeded upstarts to knock off the expected champion.

You think we don’t still feel the disgust of watching John Elway, that horse-faced jerk, taunting us from the sidelines while the Nuggets began their comeback in Denver? Please, Mavericks fan, don’t insult us.

And Mavericks fan, don’t expect the pain to gradually subside – it will not. If your team fails on a scale such as this, the pain lingers. First, an open wound for a couple of years; then, a deep scar; and, finally, a mark that never leaves.

Like I said, a moment for the Mavericks fan.

Oh, and Maverick fan? Just be thankful your team isn’t owned by someone from Oklahoma.

Danny Fortson: Cyborg Smasher #2, Page 2

Cover / Page 1 / Page 2

Yes, we're still working on this dumb thing. And the comics too.

Who needs the excitement of the NBA Playoffs? Pffft, not me! No, who needs postseason basketball excellence when you can be drawing an obscure comic strip (a WEB COMIC, no less) about an obscure, 3rd-rate power forward without a team, all for no pay and little, if any recognition!

Remind me why we started doing this again? Oh, that's right.

The Love.

Here's Part Two of the FINAL ISSUE of
"DANNY FORTSON: CYBORG SMASHER."
Please, lord, let me be done with this before 07-08 training camp...
Rated PG-13 for language, man boobs

Glove(s) Off?

It’s all speculation right now, but some writers in the Miami area are predicting that Alonzo Mourning and, more importantly, Gary Payton could be headed for Del Boca Vista after the Heat were swept aside by the Bulls.

Well, if the Sonics are leaving town, it only makes sense for Payton to retire as well. In a perfect world, the Sonics would bring Gary back for one last season in Seattle before he calls it quits. Considering the 07-08 campaign is shaping up to be pretty dismal – what with the moving vans backed up to the Key Arena parking lot and all – would it really be that bad of an idea?

It’s possible the Sonics deal either Earl Watson or Luke Ridnour this summer. Mike Wilks was great in his short stint at the end of the year, but the Sonics could really use a guard with some decent size coming off the bench; why not Gary?

It’s a pipe dream, I know, but Payton remains the greatest player in team history (sorry, Paul, Ray Allen isn’t even close), and it would be a wonderful move for the fans to bring him back to Seattle, if, of course, he’d even want to play here.

But let’s say Gary calls it quits; what will he be remembered for? I don’t mean statistical rankings or playoff wins, I mean what will YOU remember about Payton?

Personally, the enduring images of Gary Payton are many:

-Backing down an opposing point guard the way an old man backs up his Buick – with a “I don’t give a shit what you think, I'm backing this thing up” attitude

-The gum chewing; nobody chews gum harder and with more intensity of Gary Payton

- The defensive posture; the way he cinches up his shorts before he got into position, as if to say, “Alright, motherf$)*#er, let’s go!”

- The way he backpedals down the court after sinking a 3, arms raised jauntily by his side, bent at the elbow, with the intensity of a spring training jog

- The trash talking – always the trash talking, especially when his head tilted slightly to the right as he talked, as if he was trying to get the words to move upwards

But most of all, the winning. Gary Payton – at least in Seattle – seemed to be about winning. It’s not something common to Seattle athletes; we are, after all, home to Edgar, Ray Allen, and Steve Largent. Classy men all, but you never associated in-your-face intensity and attitude to those gentleman the way you did with Gary.

Well, I could go on for paragraphs more, but let’s cut it short. Gary Payton might be retiring soon. What will you remember?

Bennett Changes Tactics

After receiving a bit of a reprimand from David Stern - issued through intermediary Jim Gary - Clay Bennett - using his intermediary Jim Kneeland - is no longer using Las Vegas as an option for the Sonics. (The best quote was from Stern when Gray prompted him to comment on Bennett's Las Vegas comments. "I don't think he said that," sayeth David. When Gray pressed further, Stern revised his Moses-on-Mt.-Sinai attitude to one of, well, maybe he'll take it back.).

I never really believed Vegas was a likely choice; for the simple reasons that they don't have an arena and they haven't yet buckled under on eliminating betting on basketball. It's clear that Bennett was simply using Vegas as an excuse to extort the city/state into giving him what he wants - a beautiful stadium in King County, in which his only "investment" will be the money generated by naming rights.

The more I read about this story(ies), the more I begin to believe that Bennett might be between a rock and a hard place. His only real option at this point is Kansas City, and I can't imagine the league would rather have a team in K.C. rather than Seattle. While the legislature deserves some of the criticism it has been receiving for its Pollyanna attitude re the stadium, it warms my heart no small amount to think that a professional sports franchise is being forced to call its bluff.

Tale of Many Cities

The Sonics released yet another press release today (Team Motto: "Why talk when you can e-mail?") regarding the potential location(s) of the team in the future.

Not much in the way of news to be gleaned from the release. It concludes with this paragraph:

"At this time no one knows the confluence of events that could occur to land the teams in Oklahoma City. At this moment, everything is way too premature. While it looks bleak in Seattle, we are not ready to throw in the towel."

Wonder how the folks in OKC are going to enjoy being played against Kansas City and Las Vegas. Welcome to the show, Oklahoma, welcome to the show.

UPDATE! The Sonics have issued another press release!
This time, it's to state that yes, Lenny Wilkens is the official, fer-shure, no-foolin' President of Basketball Operations. Clay Bennett will remain President of Moving Operations. Nothing like making an announcement at quarter to 3 on a Friday to ensure that your team gets minimum exposure in the newspaper. Way to go, folks!

Despair

Anyone else beginning to feel a little queasy whenever the Sonics appear in the newspaper, or on the radio, or on television?

I lived through the Grizzlies’ departure from Vancouver, and I can tell you from first-hand experience that this situation is beginning to smell an awful lot like the stench that emanated from that one.

As Art Thiel points out today in the PI, Benikens is making it look as though Britney Spears is running the PR department. From the firing-by-telex, to Lenny Wilkens’ apparent screw up on anointing himself Team President, to Clay Bennett’s musings about Las Vegas, the Sonics are slowly descending into Clipperland, circa 1996, when a team routinely screws up everything it touches.

In fact, I think if you checked the “Robert Irsay Guide to Moving a Franchise,” you’d see that Bennett and Co. have gone according to plan:

STEP ONE - Check
Find team to purchase. This is important.

STEP TWO – Check
Attempt to put positive spin on non-local ownership taking over a beloved local institution. Make not-so-funny jokes about the differences between your hometown and your new team’s location.

STEP THREE – Check
Find some local types to put in “important” positions.

STEP FOUR – Check
Make obligatory efforts to keep team in town, keeping Commissioner and League happy, as well as intimating that you don’t want to move. Be sure that the requests you make would never be accepted by local government, though; you don’t want to screw up and not be able to move the team!

STEP FIVE – Check
Gut front office.

STEP SIX – Check
Start stonewalling media. Remember, no news is good news for your plan. The more you get people to hate you and your team, the easier it will be to move!

STEP SEVEN – TBD
Call Bekins.

Stay tuned.

Glory Days

I'm guessing the rest of you are, like myself, going through Sonics playoff withdrawals.

With that in mind, here's a blast from the past, 1978 to be specific. Ah, Brent Musberger, you're such a cunning linguist.

Perfect Storm

It's not often that a cheap fellow like myself finds himself with a bevy of options on television. I've straightjacketed myself into 20 channels (even worse: 20 Canadian channels), so on most nights my choices are limited, to say the very least.

And, yet, there I was last night, assaulted by not 1, not 2, but 3 fantastic options.

1) Golden State v Dallas
2) Bill Moyers on PBS, talking about the media's complicity in bringing about the Iraq War
3)Lost

And, thankfully, they all came through. Since this is a basketball website, I'll focus on #1 (but it should be mentioned: Judith Miller of the NY Times did not come off looking too swell in Moyers' show, and why in the hell did Desmond let that one-eyed jackoff walk away?).

Back to hoops. I only caught the second half of the Mavs-Warriors game, but even that snippet made me wonder the following:

1. If Dirk Nowitzki is the best player in the NBA this year, then the NBA must really stink. The Tall German was probably the 5th- or 6th-best player on the court when I was watching.

2. Even with the loss, G St. has to be feeling pretty good about themselves. I never felt at any point that the Mavs were clearly a better team. As long as the Warriors keep going strong to the hoop and throwing those 3/4-court length passes off Dallas makes, the Mavs are going to be one tired group of Texans.

3. I am amped to watch Bay Area fans bring the pain this weekend.

4. Baron Davis' beard deserves its own blog.

5. It kills me that the Sonics were on a par with the Warriors only a year or so ago. At this moment, they're not even in the same universe.

Carlisle Available

Another expected firing, this time Rick Carlisle in Indiana.

You'd think Carlisle would be in the mix for Seattle's opening, but he's been rumored to be in the mix for every opening, from Sacramento to Memphis to the Tahoma High School JV team (slightly kidding), so expect some form of a bidding war for his services.

Candidates

Well, that was quite a shakeup Mr. Bennett issued yesterday, though it was as unexpected as a failed movie starring an SNL alum.

With Sund and Hill both out of the picture, I'm hoping that Bennett/Wilkens (hereinafter Benikens) first move will be to acquire a GM. Unfortunately, all the good GM candidates are kind of busy right now. There's this thing called the "playoffs" taking place, and anybody that's good at their job is likely involved in it.

That obviously puts Benikens in a crappy spot. Do they wait until late June to make a move, and pray that a coach/GM combination is available? Do they go for a guy like Adelman or Larry Brown now, then hope that whichever GM they get later on is cool with it?

Personally, I think the best move is to go GM first, coach second. With that in mind, here's a wishlist of GMs:

1. Kiki Vandeweghe; people forget how bad the Nuggets were before he took over in 2001. He transformed them to a playoff team by acquiring Marcus Camby, Carmelo Anthony, Kenyon Martin, and George Karl. He also drafted Nikoloz Tskitishvili with the 5th overall pick in 2002. Ouch.

2. Jerry West; late of the Grizzlies, West obviously knows how to create a playoff team, but color me less than enthusiastic about him leading the Sonics. He radiates weariness of the NBA, and while he got the Grizzlies into the playoffs after a inheriting a woeful franchise, I don't know that he's the right fit for the Sonics.

3. RC Buford, Spurs; the safest pick, Buford leads the most-envied franchise in the NBA. He's found international guys like Ginobili and Parker and continues to mix and match veterans and youngsters. But I've got to wonder, why in the hell would he want to leave S.A. for Seattle?

4. Sam Presti, Spurs; Buford's assistant is only 30 years old, but is often mentioned as a potential candidate. I'd be wary of hiring him, only because he'd have the spectre of Lenny Wilkens hovering over him. I look at it this way: let's say the Sonics are poised to make a trade, with Presti arguing for Answer A, and Wilkens for Answer B. They go to Bennett to settle the argument. Who do you think Bennett's going to side with: the 30-year-old neophyte, or the 70-year-old wizard?

5. Lenny Wilkens, Methuselah; sorry, but I am really beginning to think this will be the answer. The Sonics are in such disarray right now that it's going to be really difficult for any GM to come in and do much of anything.

Think about how next year is going to go. Assume that the deadline for building a stadium comes and goes. In November, the Sonics will be playing in a half-empty arena with crowds that are booing their home team. The whole season feels like something out of "Bad News Bears." What GM in their right mind would want any part of that? I have the distinct impression that next year will be in wait-and-see mode, until the team packs up for parts unknown and begins its new life with a new GM and a new coach.