More Secret Sonics Stuff

Now this is just getting silly (via SonicsCentral):

On the surface, it appeared Seattle leaders and the NBA hadn't even been trying to make peace with regard to the Sonics' lease at KeyArena.

With the city suing team owner Clay Bennett to stop him from breaking the lease and moving to Oklahoma, the past several months have been marked by a public war of rhetoric.

But now it turns out Seattle officials have made at least one effort to smooth relations: In mid-October, they made a secret trip to meet with NBA executives.

(Read the rest in the Seattle Times)

After yesterday's news (or non-news as it may turn out), it's hard to figure out fact from fiction in this saga.

Top secret Sonics deal in works?

Mayor-Wan, you're our only hope!

Several sources close to the situation (who, for some reason, felt they could confide in Supersonicsoul, aka Queen Blabbermouth) have claimed that the city may be soon unleashing a new plan to save our Sonics. What could the Council of Doom Boom have in mind? Tax breaks for a new arena? A supergroup of local millionaires to make Clay an offer he can't refuse? Did they hire Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law?

(You have to wonder if the recently announced Hornets deal might be triggering some panic in the current ownership group--maybe Oklahoma doesn't look like such a safe bet after all.)

According to my Deep Throats, the announcement could come as early as tomorrow. All right, Supersonicsouliacs, let the wild speculations start . . . now.

300 Million reasons to keep the Sonics

Just look at that decrepit shack--it's nearly 15 years old!

As the Sonics continue their Bataan Death March, I thought I'd try to lighten the mood by sharing a piece I performed at a Save Our Sonics fundraiser last fall (and which was brutally paraphrased in a New York Times article last year):

As you might have heard, the Sonics are going to leave town unless we give them (at least) $300 million dollars for a new stadium. Since I’m a big basketball fan, I decided to make a list of 300 millions reasons why we should keep the Sonics. So far, I’ve come up with seven:

1) A lot of people think the $300 million dollars could be spent on “More Important Things”, like housing for the homeless. Let me ask you this: how many homeless people can dunk?

2) If Sonics point guard Luke Ridnour is not allowed to express his love for Jesus Christ on the basketball court, he might have to find somewhere else to do it—like in your pants.

3) Where else am I going to be able to pay seven dollars for a pretzel? Did I mention they were magic pretzels?

4) NBA games offer a safe place for closeted homosexuals to hang out with their straight friends, while secretly lusting after the giant, scantly clad men running around on the basketball court. Or so I’m told.

5) Everyone wants to help the less fortunate, but who stops to help the millionaires?

6) If the Sonics leave town, the Sonics Dance Team will be forced to return to their previous occupation: Iranian Death Squad Recruiters.

7) In 1979, the Seattle Supersonics won the NBA Championship. Have you?

Feel free to add to the list in the comments. Oh, and if you get a chance, please vote for me in the Famecast comedy competition. You can vote once a day, so feel free to stuff the (virtual) ballot boxes.