After watching this long-forgotten ad for the Sonics I wondered, in what universe was this ever a high-quality production?
Snarky superiority of modern technology aside, it does make you long for those days when slapping anything up there with a Sonics logo was good enough to work. Bonus points for the "Ticket Packages from $60."
Thursday, May 22
Pinching Pennies
We all know Clay Bennett will be in a bit of a bind for the next couple of years if the city wins its lawsuit against the team. Attendance will resemble early 80s Mariner games, and even the lousiest team Sam Presti can assemble will still cost upwards of $45 million a year.
So, here are some tips for Mr. Bennett on how to save a few bucks in the next 24 months, because, as you know, we're all about helping a fella out when he's on hard times:
1. Scrap radio broadcasts in favor of text messaging.
2. Have television broadcasts “Re-Create” road games in a Seattle studio using sound props.
3. Eliminate advertising budget. Oops, forgot, already did that last year.
4. Replace per diem for players with sack lunches.
5. Trade players with longer-term contracts for short-term ones, regardless of talent. Wait, did that last year, too.
6. Eliminate green and gold jerseys and just go with gray for both home and away to cut down on laundry costs. Check with Chico Bail Bonds for sponsorship possibilities on new jerseys.
7. Trade this year’s first-rounders for first-rounders next year. Continue process until team has moved to OKC.
8. Replace Gatorade on bench with tap water with yellow food coloring.
9. See if Presti will fit into the Squatch outfit.
10. Look into applying for federal school lunch program funds to replace concessions.
11. Ask your wife for some more money.
So, here are some tips for Mr. Bennett on how to save a few bucks in the next 24 months, because, as you know, we're all about helping a fella out when he's on hard times:
1. Scrap radio broadcasts in favor of text messaging.
2. Have television broadcasts “Re-Create” road games in a Seattle studio using sound props.
3. Eliminate advertising budget. Oops, forgot, already did that last year.
4. Replace per diem for players with sack lunches.
5. Trade players with longer-term contracts for short-term ones, regardless of talent. Wait, did that last year, too.
6. Eliminate green and gold jerseys and just go with gray for both home and away to cut down on laundry costs. Check with Chico Bail Bonds for sponsorship possibilities on new jerseys.
7. Trade this year’s first-rounders for first-rounders next year. Continue process until team has moved to OKC.
8. Replace Gatorade on bench with tap water with yellow food coloring.
9. See if Presti will fit into the Squatch outfit.
10. Look into applying for federal school lunch program funds to replace concessions.
11. Ask your wife for some more money.
Wednesday, May 21
Broadening the Scope
For the next month we’ll hear plenty of talk about who the Sonics should take with the #4 pick in the 2008 draft.
And, I’ll admit, on first blush, I was convinced Seattle should take Jerryd Bayless or OJ Mayo with the pick because getting a new point guard was essential to the team’s success.
You see, after 20 years of rooting for this team I’ve grown accustomed to hoping that their off-season moves will catapult them to a new level in the upcoming season. That’s the way it works as a fan – you expect your team to make moves to produce more wins in the year(s) to come.
But that’s not the case with this team because here’s the cold and honest truth: Barring some unforeseen changes in the cosmos, the Seattle Sonics are not going to be contending for a playoff spot next year, and most likely not the year after, either.
That kind of takes the urgency away from getting a point guard this year, doesn’t it? In fact, rather than “In It to Win It,” perhaps next year’s slogan could be “In It to Get Some More Picks.”
So, rather than looking to fill immediate needs, the Sonics should instead take a hard look at the roster and ask this question: “Who among this Baker’s Dozen of players will be with us when we make a playoff run?”
Personally, I can see two or three – Kevin Durant, Jeff Green, and Nick Collison.
That’s it. One small forward, one small/power forward, and one power forward/center. In my estimation, everything else is as free and open as a land rush into the Louisiana Territory circa 1806. Meaning, therefore, center, power forward, shooting guard, and point guard are all possibilities in this draft.
Sure, getting Derrick Rose to ride shotgun along Durant fills a gaping hole in the team’s roster, but what difference would it have made in the team’s outlook for the 2008-09 season? From 20 wins to 25? From 25 to 30? Does it really matter?
Of course not. So, rather than just focusing on Jerryd Bayless and OJ Mayo, widen your scope to include Kevin Love (actually, forget him, unless you think the next Dave Cowens is what the Sonics need), Brook Lopez, Eric Gordon, Anthony Randolph, or even the possibility of trading down to get either yet another first rounder.
In most cases, in most years, teams look to throw a drafted player into a specific need, like repairing one chink in a broken dam. In Seattle’s case, though, that dam has more holes than the Bush Administration’s Foreign Policy, and not of the holes is more important than any other.
And, I’ll admit, on first blush, I was convinced Seattle should take Jerryd Bayless or OJ Mayo with the pick because getting a new point guard was essential to the team’s success.
You see, after 20 years of rooting for this team I’ve grown accustomed to hoping that their off-season moves will catapult them to a new level in the upcoming season. That’s the way it works as a fan – you expect your team to make moves to produce more wins in the year(s) to come.
But that’s not the case with this team because here’s the cold and honest truth: Barring some unforeseen changes in the cosmos, the Seattle Sonics are not going to be contending for a playoff spot next year, and most likely not the year after, either.
That kind of takes the urgency away from getting a point guard this year, doesn’t it? In fact, rather than “In It to Win It,” perhaps next year’s slogan could be “In It to Get Some More Picks.”
So, rather than looking to fill immediate needs, the Sonics should instead take a hard look at the roster and ask this question: “Who among this Baker’s Dozen of players will be with us when we make a playoff run?”
Personally, I can see two or three – Kevin Durant, Jeff Green, and Nick Collison.
That’s it. One small forward, one small/power forward, and one power forward/center. In my estimation, everything else is as free and open as a land rush into the Louisiana Territory circa 1806. Meaning, therefore, center, power forward, shooting guard, and point guard are all possibilities in this draft.
Sure, getting Derrick Rose to ride shotgun along Durant fills a gaping hole in the team’s roster, but what difference would it have made in the team’s outlook for the 2008-09 season? From 20 wins to 25? From 25 to 30? Does it really matter?
Of course not. So, rather than just focusing on Jerryd Bayless and OJ Mayo, widen your scope to include Kevin Love (actually, forget him, unless you think the next Dave Cowens is what the Sonics need), Brook Lopez, Eric Gordon, Anthony Randolph, or even the possibility of trading down to get either yet another first rounder.
In most cases, in most years, teams look to throw a drafted player into a specific need, like repairing one chink in a broken dam. In Seattle’s case, though, that dam has more holes than the Bush Administration’s Foreign Policy, and not of the holes is more important than any other.
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