An Orphaned Sonic Fan’s Guide to the NBA Playoffs

Admit it – that Game 7 on Saturday night between Boston and Chicago sucked you in, didn’t it?

Oh, sure, you like to play it cool … “I don’t need the NBA,” you tell your friends, “I’m fine watching soccer, or the Mariners. Really, I don’t need it. The NBA is dead to me.”

But like a 16-year-old loser with a ridiculous crush, you know you’re lying to yourself. You were fine all winter while the games didn’t matter, but now that the league has essentially worn cut-off denim shorts and a tank top, you can’t keep your eyes off it. Right about now, you're probably re-watching the 1996 playoffs, trying to convince yourself that you're watching it in real time.

So, Former Sonic Fan, for whom should you cheer? The Lakers, naturally, are out; only a pathetic bandwagoneer of the lowest level would abandon the Sonics for L.A., right? Well, you’ve got seven choices left, each of them with a peculiar brand of Sonicinity (?) with which to lure you. Here goes:

EASTERN CONFERENCE:

ATLANTA
Positives: Former Sonic Flip Murray and former GM Rick Sund
Negatives: Former Sonic Flip Murray and former GM Rick Sund
It’s pretty tough to make a case for the Hawks, unless you’re one of those “I love to root for the underdog” type guys. Yeah, that always works out well. In this case, having two former Sonics on the roster isn’t a positive, unless you’re a big fan of GMs who opt for underachieving big men in not one, not two, but three consecutive first rounds. Of course, there’s always a chance Sund will make a deal sending Joe Johnson away for Calvin Booth and a first-rounder …

Kinda Reminds Me Of: Joe Johnson, meet … Dale Ellis
Rootability Level: 5 (out of 10)

BOSTON
Positives: Ray Allen, Mikki Moore, Glen Davis
Negatives: It’s the Celtics, people
You can’t help but root for Ray Allen and Big Baby is transforming into a non-underachieving Stanley Roberts – what’s not to like, right? Well, how about the fact the Celtics have 78 titles already, that the typical Boston fan has partied more in the past five years than anyone outside of Paris Hilton, and that, in general, New Englanders have become increasingly insufferable? Fine, I’m still bitter about the fact Dennis Johnson is known more as a Celtic than he is as a Sonic. Hey, anyone want to buy my collection of Paul Westphal cards?

Kinda Reminds Me Of: Glen Davis, meet … Lonnie Shelton
Rootability Level: 3

CLEVELAND
Positives: Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West
Negatives: LBJ hysteria is drawing closer and closer to overkill
Thankfully, it’s not there yet, though. Everybody rags on the Cavs’ non-LBJ lineup, but, really, how many centers are better than Ilgauskas (when healthy; which, admittedly, is not often)? Granted, the playoffs are chock-full of talented big men, but Big Z isn’t horrible, Mo Williams is a borderline all-star, Delonte is above average, and Wally’s teeth are better than ever.

Kinda Reminds Me Of: Mo Williams, meet … Gus Williams
Rootability Level: 8

ORLANDO
Positives: Rashard Lewis, Assistant Coach Patrick Ewing
Negatives: Stan Van Gundy, non-s ending team name
Personally, I’m pulling really hard for Rashard, if only because it will somewhat redeem the criticism the Magic received for doling out all that money for him two summers ago. With Courtney Lee sidelined, a difficult task got even tougher for Orlando, but if Lewis pours in 25+ a night as he is capable, it might help.
Kinda Reminds Me Of: Adonal Foyle, meet … Clemon Johnson
Rootability Level: 9

Consensus Eastern Conference Sonic Fan Choice: Orlando Magic

NEXT:
Western Conference

So Close, And Yet So Far Away

Photo courtesy of The Seattle Times.

Governor Doubts KeyArena Bill Will Surface

Jim Brunner at the Seattle Times reports that Gov. Gregoire does not expect to see SB 6116 to be passed during the upcoming special session. According to Brunner, Gregoire said, "I decided it wasn't a fight I was ready to fight for. I had other things I had to fight for."

This may seem to be a death knell for the bill - and for the Sonics in the near future - but as Lyndon Johnson famously said, "In politics you've got to learn that overnight chicken s*** can turn to chicken salad."

Heckuva Night for Former Sonics

From last night's action:

Donyell Marshall, Philadelphia: 0 points, 2 boards
Carl Landry, Houston: 6 points, 7 boards, WINS SERIES
Glen Davis, Boston: 23 points, 6 offensive boards, 10/18 FGs, 53 minutes
Rashard Lewis, Orlando: 29 points, 7 boards, 5 assists, WINS SERIES

And, of course,

Ray Allen, Boston: 51 points, 27 3's (well, it seemed like it), 59 minutes

Not to mention, Wally Szczerbiak and Delonte West, just chillin' at home waiting to get it on in the 2nd round. It's crazy how the players involved in that Ray Allen/Jeff Green trade have gone on to such stellar playoff success this year (West/Wally S. in Cleveland, Davis/Allen in Boston). Except, of course, the guy the Sonics got (Jeff Green), who is likely mowing his lawn today.

Long-term, the Sonix will be fine, and all those draft picks (and their relatively cheap salaries) will be fine, but, man, doesn't a team made up of Kevin Durant, Ray Allen, and Rashard Lewis sound kind of exciting? Sure, they'd give up 120 points a night, but exciting nonetheless ...

Spencer Haywood Chat

It may be over by the time you get there, but Spencer Haywood is now chatting at ESPN. Bonus points if you can get Haywood to talk about how he feels about today's young players compared to the players of his day.

Great Moments in Sonic Playoff History: April 30th

1978 – Portland pulls to 3-2 in the Western Conference Semifinals with a 113-89 win in the Rose City. The Sonics take the next game in Seattle to win the series.

1980 – A year removed from winning the title, the Sonics lose 111-105 to Los Angeles as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar scores 38.

1982 – Seattle falls 97-99 loss to San Antonio as George Gervin hits 15 of 31 shots.

1987 – A 129-98 triumph over the Mavericks caps a miraculous first-round upset of 2nd-seeded Dallas.

1989 – 109-97 win over the Rockets gives the Sonics a 2-0 lead in the Derrick McKey series.

1991 – Benoit Benjamin makes 14 free throws and Sedale Threatt pours in 29 (!) points as Sonics narrow series to 2-1 with a 102-99 win against Portland. Pete celebrates in Eugene by forcing all Blazer fans in Carson Hall to buy him a beer.

1992 – Kemp dunks on Lister, grabs 20 boards, Eddie Johnson scores 26 off the bench, and the Sonics beat the Warriors 119-116 to clinch a first-round win.

1993 – Kemp grabs 11 offensive boards, a Sonic playoff record, to go with 29 points and 17 total rebounds and Sonics upend Utah 99-85 to open their first-round series.

1994 – Seattle’s 97-87 win over Denver puts Sonics up 2-0 in first-round series. Things go sideways after …

1996 – After losing at home to Sacramento in Game 2, Sonic fans are anxious about falling behind in the series in Game 3, but Sam Perkins comes off the bench to score 17 and the Sonics capture a 96-89 win and begin their drive to the NBA Finals.

More McClendon

BusinessWeek, Muckety, and NASDAQ.com check in with more withering criticism of Aubrey McClendon. You know, if ol' Aubrey wasn't such a greedy, self-aggrandizing con artist, I'd almost feel badly for him.

Well, maybe not.

If you're too busy to graze the articles, allow me to pull out some of the choicer quotes:

Karen Finerman, in reply to the statement that McClendon received such a massive bonus last year because he created unique opportunities for Chesapeake Energy: "That's his job. What else is he supposed to do?"

Chesapeake investor Jeffrey Bronchick (his firm holds 1.18 million shares), in a letter to the CHK board: "I have never seen a more shameful document than the Chesapeake proxy statement. If I could reduce it to one page, I would frame and hang it on my office wall as a near perfect illustration of the complete collapse of appropriate corporate governance.”

Aubrey McClendon, Shmuck: "Our [SEC filing] speaks for itself we believe."

Attorney Marc Gross, on CHK's purchase of $12 million worth of art from Aubrey: "There's no purpose served by an oil company buying art. It's not a museum."

What He Said

Art Thiel, in the PI.

Bobby Doerr, Meet Jeremy Tyler

I’ve been re-reading David Halberstam’s excellent Summer of ’49, and I came across a passage last night which has a surprising tie-in to the ongoing debate regarding Jeremy Tyler.

Halberstam’s book profiles the season through the narrow viewpoint of the Red Sox and Yankees, going into incredible detail of the day-to-day activities of both rosters, from trainers to owners. Among the stories about the Dimaggios, Ted Williams, and so forth is the tale of Boston second baseman Bobby Doerr, a much-beloved player (by, among others, future commissioner Bart Giamatti) who would later enter the Hall of Fame.

Anyone who follows baseball closely knows the Doerr story – a classy man who parlayed solid defense, a strong bat, and good teammates into a ticket to Cooperstown. What they probably don’t know is that Doerr turned pro at age 16.

Yes, 16. While still enrolled in Fremont High School in LA, Doerr signed up to play professionally for the Hollywood Stars, meaning he spent the last two years of his high school years traveling around the west coast of the United States.

And yet, nobody made a big deal out of it. Doerr’s father, as part of the contract, insisted that the team allow Doerr to come back to complete his education, but it wasn’t as if the LA Times ran a huge story bemoaning how the Hollywood Stars were robbing the innocence of this poor young man. Bobby Doerr was a great player, a team wanted to pay him to play, and his family decided it was okay. End of story.

Today, though, we have developed some bizarre set of rules for our children. We allow them to watch horribly violent movies and video games seemingly from infancy and let our daughters wear clothes that hookers from 50 years ago would consider scandalous. But letting a 17-year-old get paid to play basketball in Europe? The horror!

Imagine if Jeremy Tyler had been offered a scholarship to attend school and play basketball in Amsterdam for a year. Would anyone care? Would any of us notice?

Of course not. And yet, for some bizarre reason, people such as Dick Vitale feel a need to criticize Tyler and his family for what they have chosen to do. I ask you, naysayers, are you as mad at Bobby Doerr’s family as you are at Jeremy Tyler’s? Do you think Tony Parker destroyed his life by turning pro before he could vote?

Further, why do you care? Who, exactly, is Jeremy Tyler hurting by doing this? Is he not better off than half or more of the African-American boys in this country?

Honestly, it’s not for us to say. It’s up to Mr. Tyler and his family. They’ve made their decision, and I suggest the rest of us just shut up about it.

McClendon, Ward in WSJ

In two separate stories, the WSJ reported on two owners of the Sonix, our good friends Aubrey McClendon (here) and Tom Ward (here).

The McClendon story is nothing altogether shocking - shareholders of Chesapeake are furious about McClendon's pay package, which is quite reasonable considering the performance of the company's stock in the past six months.

The Ward story concerns SandRidge Energy's sale of more than 15 million shares, including 3 million belonging to Mr. Ward himself, at a discount. This comes on the heels of the compay's announcement of a $1.3 billion first-quarter asset write-down due to crappy natural gas prices.

And, after reading all of that, you are free to bang your head against the desk whilst bemoaning fate ..... now.

Gee, Bob, I Can Think of a Couple ...

Robert Irsay, owner of the Indianapolis Colts, as told to the AP. Irsay is referring to the city of Indianaplis' desire to renegotiate their stadium deal with the Colts, owing to the funding shortfall the stadium authority has experienced.

"What business would come in and negotiate with the city and the state for three or four years and get all the details ironed out, and then three or four months after you're in the building have them say that doesn't really matter and then take your brand and rake it over the coals."

What kind of business? Well, there's this guy, who decided he didn't like his building less than a decade after it was built, and who tried to renegotiate his lease even though there was still close to five years left on it. Or this guy, who pulled a team out of town even though they still had a year left on their lease.

Or, maybe, this kind of business, the kind which promises to let the mayor of the city in which it resides of a phone call if it decides to move, then gets 15 moving vans to load up in the middle of the night and haul ass for Indianapolis. Sorry, Bob, but people who pull that kind of stuff don't get the right to act sanctimonious.

Olympia: It's Not Over ... Yet

Via Joe Turner of the News Tribune:

Sen. Ed Murray and Sen. Jeanne Kohl-Welles have issued a statement relating to the life of SB 6116.

“If the Legislature goes into a special session sometime during this year, we will continue conversations around SB 6116. We will work with the opponents of this bill and try to reach an agreement.”

Coming on the heels of Murray's amendment that eliminated all non-KeyArena related portions of the bill (i.e., Husky Stadium), it is painfully clear that Murray and Kohl-Welles are doing everything they can to bring professional basketball back to Seattle.

Whether their passion for the subject can persuade enough of their fellow lawmakers remains to be seen.