Halloween

Hey kids, Halloween is inching closer, and if you haven’t grabbed your costume yet and you’re hoping to infuse your evening with green and gold, look no further!

Herewith our recommendations for the Top 5 Sonic Halloween Outfits:

1. The Danny Fortson
If you’re in the need of the costume that delivers the goods, go with Da Fort! With the way Da Fort grabs rebounds, you can only imagine how fast he can grab a Tootsie Roll! Comes with hair extensions, stomach pouch, and “rump filler.”

2. The Shawn Kemp
Nothing says b-a-d like a loaded pistol and a bag of mysterious substances. You can trick AND treat with this great costume! Plus, ask some neighbourhood kids to come with you and you’ve got your own “Kemp family posse!” Optional “rump filler” included with “Orlando Shawn” outfit.

3. The Michael Cage
There are good Halloween looks and then there are great Halloween looks. Your costume will come with a 26-oz. container of “Soul Glow” hair gel, shoulder enhancers, and lime green leisure suit. If that kid in front of you at Mrs. Johnson’s house thinks he’s getting those Kit-Kats, he better come correct, or not at all.

4. The George Karl
Finding that you’ve been struggling through the first half of your candy collecting evening? Then fire your underperforming costume and get The George Karl! Comes with imitation moustache scar, mock turtleneck, and 4-page booklet “Getting Candy the Karl Way.” Bob Kloppenburg puppet optional. Please note that costume will begin to fall apart in 2nd and 3rd year of use.

5. The Frank Brickowski
Sometimes, you’ve got to want the candy more than the other kids. With the “Brick” costume, you’ll be ready to roll to the corner of the door frame. Comes with “Pushing for Pop Rocks” booklet and faux flat top hair cut.

Powell

The Sonics have said goodbye to 6'6" rookie forward Roger Powell. Powell really never entered into any of the discussions of guys who might make the roster. Those discussions have focused instead on the Cleaves-Brunson-Scales triumverate, or, as I like to call them "CleScaBrun" (give it a try, it just rolls of the tongue).

With 4 pre-season games left (including tonight in Phoenix), the situation will have to be cleared up within a week. Noel Felix will most likely be given his papers sometime soon, but at least one of the CleScaBrun will have to go as well, and Weiss and Co. are certainly playing it close to the vest.

Dress Up

I was thinking about writing 20 paragraphs about David Stern's misguided attempt at fashion policing, but then I read this quote from Jason Richardson of the Warriors, which summed up my entire range of emotions.

"You still wear a suit, you still could be a crook. You see all what happened with Enron and Martha Stewart. Just because you dress a certain way doesn't mean you're that way."

Look, Stern's right in that his employees are scaring a certain percentage of his customers by wearing the clothes and accessories they wear. In that same token, however, those same employees are attracting a far greater number of new fans. Furthermore, the NBA has had no problem backing advertisements, in print and on television, that accentuate the "playa" image he now seems to detest. Do I even need to mention the "street ball" games-within-a-game that permeate every NBA video game sold?

I'm sorry, but there is only one word to describe what Stern has done, and it isn't racist.

It's hypocrite.