New Standings

After tonight’s clash of the titans with the Celtics, the Sonics will have 20 games remaining on the schedule. That’s 20 games to determine at which draft position they will select the 7’ teenaged center from Chad who best fits their roster.

(Seriously, are there any doubts the Sonics will go for anyone but Tiago Splitter with their first pick? He’s 7 feet tall, has loads of potential, and will probably take a couple of years to develop. Perfect.)

But what else do the Sonics have to play for? The playoffs? Um, yeah, that boat sailed in November, folks. If Vegas listed odds on the Sonics making the playoffs, I’d guess it would be somewhere between “Odds of Pussycat Dolls Disbanding in 18 Months” and “Odds of Bob Hill Coaching Seattle in ’08.”

To me, only one remotely interesting part of the season remains: Beating the Blazers.

Starting tonight, the standings as the rest of the NBA sees them cease to exist. Henceforth, the standings look like:

TEAM.................W...........L...........GB
Seattle..................25..........36.........—
Portland............... 25..........36.........—

When you’ve fallen as far as the Sonics, this is what it comes to. We have no shot at the playoffs and no shot at getting anyone in the draft that will make a difference. A new GM and coach will be brought in this summer, who will likely be hamstrung by our current roster of mediocrity.

And that is why, for James Bailey, for Tom LaGarde, for Gus Williams, for Eddie Johnson, for Dana Barros, for all that is right with the world, and for all the greatness in Sonic history, the Sonics must prevail. To stand up to Jerome Kersey and Portland’s ridiculous “Hustle Board,” Clyde Drexler’s line-drive jump shots, Terry Porter’s absurd bullet head, the annoying Danny Ainge, Adelman’s Hitlerian mustache, Bill Walton’s horrible announcing, against all that is wrong in this world, we must triumph.

20 games. One winner. Go Sonics.