More Secret Sonics Stuff

Now this is just getting silly (via SonicsCentral):

On the surface, it appeared Seattle leaders and the NBA hadn't even been trying to make peace with regard to the Sonics' lease at KeyArena.

With the city suing team owner Clay Bennett to stop him from breaking the lease and moving to Oklahoma, the past several months have been marked by a public war of rhetoric.

But now it turns out Seattle officials have made at least one effort to smooth relations: In mid-October, they made a secret trip to meet with NBA executives.

(Read the rest in the Seattle Times)

After yesterday's news (or non-news as it may turn out), it's hard to figure out fact from fiction in this saga.

Top secret Sonics deal in works?

Mayor-Wan, you're our only hope!

Several sources close to the situation (who, for some reason, felt they could confide in Supersonicsoul, aka Queen Blabbermouth) have claimed that the city may be soon unleashing a new plan to save our Sonics. What could the Council of Doom Boom have in mind? Tax breaks for a new arena? A supergroup of local millionaires to make Clay an offer he can't refuse? Did they hire Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law?

(You have to wonder if the recently announced Hornets deal might be triggering some panic in the current ownership group--maybe Oklahoma doesn't look like such a safe bet after all.)

According to my Deep Throats, the announcement could come as early as tomorrow. All right, Supersonicsouliacs, let the wild speculations start . . . now.

300 Million reasons to keep the Sonics

Just look at that decrepit shack--it's nearly 15 years old!

As the Sonics continue their Bataan Death March, I thought I'd try to lighten the mood by sharing a piece I performed at a Save Our Sonics fundraiser last fall (and which was brutally paraphrased in a New York Times article last year):

As you might have heard, the Sonics are going to leave town unless we give them (at least) $300 million dollars for a new stadium. Since I’m a big basketball fan, I decided to make a list of 300 millions reasons why we should keep the Sonics. So far, I’ve come up with seven:

1) A lot of people think the $300 million dollars could be spent on “More Important Things”, like housing for the homeless. Let me ask you this: how many homeless people can dunk?

2) If Sonics point guard Luke Ridnour is not allowed to express his love for Jesus Christ on the basketball court, he might have to find somewhere else to do it—like in your pants.

3) Where else am I going to be able to pay seven dollars for a pretzel? Did I mention they were magic pretzels?

4) NBA games offer a safe place for closeted homosexuals to hang out with their straight friends, while secretly lusting after the giant, scantly clad men running around on the basketball court. Or so I’m told.

5) Everyone wants to help the less fortunate, but who stops to help the millionaires?

6) If the Sonics leave town, the Sonics Dance Team will be forced to return to their previous occupation: Iranian Death Squad Recruiters.

7) In 1979, the Seattle Supersonics won the NBA Championship. Have you?

Feel free to add to the list in the comments. Oh, and if you get a chance, please vote for me in the Famecast comedy competition. You can vote once a day, so feel free to stuff the (virtual) ballot boxes.

The Girls did it. Why can't we?

Well, we've got one pro basketball team staying in town:

Anne Levinson is a political dynamo, having served as a judge, chairwoman of the Washington State Utilities and Transportation Commission and deputy mayor of Seattle.

She's also a Seattle Storm season-ticket holder, and by the end of February, Levinson and three well-heeled friends will own the team they spend summers rooting for.

Levinson, Lisa Brummel, Ginny Gilder and Dawn Trudeau are in the process of buying the Storm from Clayton Bennett for $10 million, ensuring that the Women's National Basketball Association franchise remains here even if Bennett gets his wish and moves the Sonics to Oklahoma City.

Levinson said the group is buying the team for Storm fans and the community.

"This is driven by the enthusiasm of the fans," she said. "When you see Storm fans renewing their season tickets in the middle of complete uncertainty, saying, 'No, we want you here. This is important to us. Show us some support,' it's nearly impossible to turn that down."

Read the rest in the Seattle Times

So, what does this mean for us Sonics fans? Probably nothing. Clay had no interest in the Storm whatsoever and finding someone to buy the team is as much of a victory for Bubba and his Okie Woman Haters Club as the city of Seattle.

The interesting thing about this deal is the remarkable way it came together: four rich basketball fans buy their favorite team. Can you imagine if that happened with the Sonics? The Seattle Times' dares to dream about Sonics Super-fan Steve Ballmer sweeping in as a big, bald white knight. Granted, the Sonics aren't for sale, but as the Million Dollar Man used to say, everything is for sale if you have enough money.

Sonics: Just. Painful.

The Sonics are making it very difficult for me to keep my New Year's Resolutions:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Washington Wizards had just won their second straight game by more than 20 points, but coach Eddie Jordan wasn't happy.

At halftime of Washington's 108-86 victory over the Seattle SuperSonics on Sunday, Jordan lectured the team.

"We're not that good," Jordan told them.

Read the rest here.

Not that good? What does that make us? Wait, don't answer that.

After seeing a game like this, it makes you wonder: are the Sonics even trying? Do they have their eyes on the lottery already or, worse, on the moving vans? Is it any wonder the enthusiasm for basketball in this town ranks somewhere between George W. Bush and E. Coli? Sigh.

In other depressing news, I entered one of those cheesy online comedy competitions. If you have some free time, please stop by and vote for me. I need all the help I can get.

New proof that Sonics owners are evil

"What, Me Evil?"

Not content with crushing the dreams of Seattle basketball fans, it appears that Sonics minority owner Aubrey "McCreepy" McClendon is hell bent on spreading his evil one community at a time.

Seattlest's Seth Kolloen writes about McClendon's plans to wipe out a national park in Michigan.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate these guys?

New Year's Resolutions

To start off 2008 right, I thought I'd try something new this year: blogging. Ha! Seriously, I haven't been blogging about the Sonics much lately. I know this, because I keep getting emails saying "Why the hell aren't you blogging about the Sonics much lately?"

Well, my faithful handful of readers, you'll be pleased to know that one of my New Year Resolutions is to write more for Supersonicsoul. In fact, here's my entire list of Resolutions, some of which I actually plan on keeping:

1) Lose weight. (I'm starting to look like Vin Baker, if Vin Baker were 5'10 and white)
2) Read more. (Sorry, Blogs don't count.)
3) Take the "next step" in my comedy career. ("Next step" = "get paid once in a while")
4) Write more for Supersonicsoul (See? I told you so!)

And what do other folks have on their to-do list this year?

• Greg Nickels: Eat more pie.
  
• Jeff Renner: Grow back mustache
  
• Steve Pool: Kick Jeff Renner's Ass
  
• Aubrey McClendon: Learn to lie.
  
• Clay Bennett: Teach Aubrey to lie. If that doesn't work, kill him.
  
• David Stern: Admit to world that Clay Bennett and I are life partners.
  
• Oklahoma City Council: Invent a way to print money and/or gold. Also, find way to tax all City Slickers and Fancy Pants.
  
• Scooter Presti: Get Supersonicsoul to stop calling me Scooter.
  
• Kevin Durant: Increase shots per game to at least 300.
  
• PJ Carlesimo: Find Danny Fortson's phone number.
  

O.K. Supersonicsouliacs, we've all shared, now it's your turn! What are you planning on doing this year to make yourself a more complete person and/or Sonics fan? Go to more games? Post more comments? Shave the image of Slick Watts in your chest hair? We wants to know!

Breaking: Wilkins benched, Green to Start

With everyone on Christmas Break, it's left to the Cub Reporter/Clipart Dept. Manager to post this breaking tidbit. Word from Trusted Sources is that Jeff Green will start tonight against the T-Wolves, and Damien Wilkins will come off the bench. The announcement was made at this morning's practice.

The same source also informs us that some big arena news will drop when the new legislative session starts.

The Return of Ray-Ray

Seriously, screw you guys.

Ray Allen returned to Seattle last night, but he was playing for the wrong team:

KeyArena has seen better nights from Ray Allen.

But unlike when the Boston Celtics star played for the Sonics, his off shooting night didn't matter. He had an assembly of star-studded teammates to rely on as the Celtics collected a 104-96 NBA victory in front of a sellout crowd of 17,072.

Allen played his first game in Seattle since being traded on draft day for fifth overall pick Jeff Green and veterans Wally Szczerbiak and Delonte West. Allen was treated to two standing ovations — for his community service in a pregame ceremony and during player introductions.

Read the rest in the Seattle TImes

Ray Allen was one of my all-time favorite Sonics and I wish him the best, but after getting traded from worst to first, I hope he at least sent a Christmas card to Wonder Boy this year. After all, the out-right tanking and sabotage of our Sonics by Presti and company might finally give Ray-Ray a much deserved ring. At least something nice can come out of this debacle.

So long, Sene!

Someone got coal in their stocking, and it wasn't Clay Bennett.

To the surprise of no one, Mouhamed Sene was sent down to Maggie's farm today, prompting most Sonics fans to say "Mouhamed Sene was still with the Sonics?".

So what's on your wish list this year? How about a brand new point guard? Heck, how about a slightly used one? Santa wants to know!

Pointing Fingers

Starting opponent point guards in Sonic wins:

Jason Williams, Miami
Tyronn Lue, Atlanta
Brevin Knight, Clippers
Mo Williams, Milwaukee
Marko Jaric, Minnesota

Starting opponent point guards in Sonic blowout losses:

Sam Cassell, Clippers
Allen Iverson, Denver
Jameer Nelson, Orlando
Raymond Felton, Charlotte
Tony Parker, San Antonio
Damon Stoudamire, Memphis
Jameer Nelson, Orlando
Kirk Hinrich, Chicago
Deron Williams, Utah
Chris Paul, New Orleans

Now, I could spend a couple of hours digging through statistics from each of those players, adding them all up, calculating their averages, their PERs, their assist to turnover ratios, and all the rest, but that would be insulting to our readers. Because it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it, what the difference is between the first group and the second group, for even a casual observer of the NBA.

Four of the five guys in group one are vagabond NBA point guards. With the exception of Mo Williams, that first group is free agent fodder, the kind of guys who always float around fantasy leagues, being picked up and dropped more often than a hitchhiker on I-5.

The second group, though, is a whole different breed of cat. Some do it with speed (Parker, Stoudamire, Paul, Iverson), and some do it with smarts (Hinrich, Williams, Cassell), but all of them (with the puzzling exception of Jameer Nelson) are top-echelon point guards.

Which all speaks to the following; when the case history of the 2007-08 SuperSonics is written, and an analysis of the team’s needs is ascertained, it won’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that a new point guard is desperately needed.

Graphically Speaking

For today's class, we're going to do a little comparison of Kevin Durant and Carmelo Anthony. To aid in the discussion, here are 4 graphs comparing the start of each player's career. The blue line is for Durant, the pink for Anthony.

1. Points

2. Minutes

3. Rebounds

4. Field Goal Attempts

So, what can we learn from these examples. Here are a few points I gleaned from looking at the data:

1. I had thought the Sonics were playing Durant too much and he was getting far too many shot attempts. In fact, numerous media members concurred, at least in regard to the shots, saying that it was causing a bit of a problem on the roster (the whole young fella getting too much too soon thing, you know). But when you compare KD to Melo, you can plainly see that Durant's numbers are almost interchangable with Anthony's.

2. On the negative side, while Anthony's point totals increased as the season progressed, Durant's have not. However, they are both small sample sizes, too small to draw significant conclusions.

And that's about it. Most importantly, I think it's clear that Durant has been Melo's equal thus far in his career, which bodes well for the future. Well, except for rebounding. And hair. Anthony's all over him in that.