Monday, October 24

Halloween


Hey kids, Halloween is inching closer, and if you haven’t grabbed your costume yet and you’re hoping to infuse your evening with green and gold, look no further!

Herewith our recommendations for the Top 5 Sonic Halloween Outfits:

1. The Danny Fortson
If you’re in the need of the costume that delivers the goods, go with Da Fort! With the way Da Fort grabs rebounds, you can only imagine how fast he can grab a Tootsie Roll! Comes with hair extensions, stomach pouch, and “rump filler.”

2. The Shawn Kemp
Nothing says b-a-d like a loaded pistol and a bag of mysterious substances. You can trick AND treat with this great costume! Plus, ask some neighbourhood kids to come with you and you’ve got your own “Kemp family posse!” Optional “rump filler” included with “Orlando Shawn” outfit.

3. The Michael Cage
There are good Halloween looks and then there are great Halloween looks. Your costume will come with a 26-oz. container of “Soul Glow” hair gel, shoulder enhancers, and lime green leisure suit. If that kid in front of you at Mrs. Johnson’s house thinks he’s getting those Kit-Kats, he better come correct, or not at all.

4. The George Karl
Finding that you’ve been struggling through the first half of your candy collecting evening? Then fire your underperforming costume and get The George Karl! Comes with imitation moustache scar, mock turtleneck, and 4-page booklet “Getting Candy the Karl Way.” Bob Kloppenburg puppet optional. Please note that costume will begin to fall apart in 2nd and 3rd year of use.

5. The Frank Brickowski
Sometimes, you’ve got to want the candy more than the other kids. With the “Brick” costume, you’ll be ready to roll to the corner of the door frame. Comes with “Pushing for Pop Rocks” booklet and faux flat top hair cut.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

you don't recommend vladimir radmonivic's playoff hairstyle for halloween??

Larry

http://knicks.mostvaluablenetwork.com

Zachary Geballe said...

Nuss, that's truly some brilliant work

Carl said...

Alright ya'll....Here is your chance to truly gauge how hardup you are for the season to start...

Preseason - Sonics and Rockets - 700 megs...

How bad do you want to see Swifty?

http://bt.davka.info/torrents/ebi/05.10.19-smeg.HOUvsSEA.101705.torrent?PHPSESSID=111c535c72fb8f3f3ca840d497ff2be4

Carl

Paul Merrill said...

"imitation moustache scar"

I want one!

Seriously, nice work Mr. N

Paul Merrill said...

Thanks Carl - only 27 hours to go!

(If any of you manage to download this game, please leave your bit torrent client open to help speed the downloads for the rest of us)

chunks brother said...

anyone catch this on ESPN.com?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/dailydime?page=dailydime-SeattlePreview0506

getting picked anywhere between 2nd to 4th in the division.

Nuss said...

I saw that, too. I especially enjoyed Chris Broussard's take:

"With Nate and his focus on defense gone, Sonics won't guard/stop anyone."

Followed by this from John Hollinger 4 boxes down:

"Could be in a for a fall unless Bob Weiss markedly improves the defense."

Um, Chris, when your argument is counterargued by a guy (Hollinger) who knows NBA stats like the Pope knows Latin, you really don't have much of an argument. Seriously, does anyone with half a brain think the Sonics won last year because of their defense?

Zachary Geballe said...

You know what's funny? Guess where the Sonics were picked to finish last year?

All year long, no one in the mainstream, national media could explain their success. It shouldn't be surprising that this team continues to defy their understanding, nor should it suprise that with that as a given, most media members will hedge, picking them to be a fringe playoff team. I still think they're the clear frontrunner in the Northwest.

Danny Sheridan said...

To be fair, the Sonics are far from "clear frontrunners" in the Northwest Division. Mainstream, national media or no, oddsmakers give the Sonics between 25:1 and 28:1 odds at winning the Western Conference. That's well behind the Nuggets (between 6:1 and 8:1) and slightly behind the TimberWolves (16:1 - 25:1).

b_con said...

THEY PUT THE TIMBERWOLVES BEFORE US!?! Sure, Garnett is great, but COME ON! Kandiman, Mad Dog Madsen, and Eddie "Jailtime" Griffon are his frontcourt mates. Oh yeah, and dont forget Skita, cause he's a force... The backcourt is even better, led by Marko Jaric and Wally Sczcerbiak. Wowzers. Its a consistently hurt 6'7" PG and a consistently overpaid and underachieving SF who can play 0 Defense. Yep and thrown in Troy Hudson, the worst defender in the NBA statistically, Rashad McCants, a rookie headcase, and Trenton Hassel, a poor man's Bruce Bowen. Yep, thats some team right there... Bet they wish they had Damien about now. By the way... Where in God's name is Sprewell? No one signed him? No one? Not even Toronto?

Tim said...

My condolences to the Sprewell family and the possibility that they are living on government assistance. How is he going to put food in his kids mouthes without a paycheck? We should divert some Katrina aid and help him out.