It was bound to happen.
Seattle Sonics owner Clay Bennett and NBA commissioner David Stern were married today in a private ceremony in Sweden.
"We've been in bed together over this whole Sonics deal, so I figured it was time to make an honest man out of Davey" Bennett joked.
"Plus, the sex is terrific," Stern added.
After the ceremony, the bridal bouquet was caught by the maid of honor, Aubrey McClendon.
"It was a beautiful wedding," said McClendon, dressed in a dazzling white evening gown. "There was nothing gay about it. This was an affirmation of two men's manly love for each other. You know, like pirates."
"Pirates who like to have sex with each other!" Stern shouted, giving McClendon a swift whack on the seat of his pants.
The newlyweds will be honeymooning at the posh "Steer's Rear" resort in scenic Oklahoma City. In lieu of gifts, the couple requests that donations be made in their names to the NBA civic demolition department.
Best story ever.
Where are they registered? On second thought, I think I'll get them a paper bag full of something and leave it on the doorstep.
Geez, I'm offended DaClay flew all the way to Sweden when they could have just driven to Vancouver to tie the knot. Everyone knows Canada will marry anyone and anything just for the $20 registration fee. Our maple syrup industry is on hard times and we need every cent we can get!
(btw, the Sonics Central folks seem to think it's legit. Either that, or they're wayyyy better at satire than I ever imagined.)
I was at the reception, and it was great until the DJ started up with "It's Raining Men." Man, you don't ever want to see Bennett and Stern bumping and grinding on the dance floor.
I don't think today's press conference is a prank, if only because Wong Doody would get too much negative publicity for making fun of the situation. I'm not saying they couldn't inject some humor or silliness into the whole thing, but I truly doubt they'd want to waste everyone's time with a fake conference just to make a joke. That'd be pretty classless if you ask me.
"Pirates who like to have sex with each other!!!" I almost fell out of my seat laughing
I'm putting this news on Wikipedia right now and citing this article.
Hahaha apparently someone beat me to the vandalizing of Clay's Wikipedia page:
He is noted for an especially contageous infection of anal warts.
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