Friday, February 27

David Stern: Keeping the Faith

David Stern, Commissioner of the NBA, speaking after it is revealed that the league is borrowing $200 million to help teams meet their operating expenses:

“ This is the opposite of a bailout. This was a show of strength in the credit worthiness of the NBA’s teams. It’s a great sign of confidence in us and that’s wonderful that the market is opening up, so we’ll take it.”


David Stern, as Mayor of New Orleans:

“This is not a disaster. The presence of the Army Corps of Engineers is merely a show of confidence they have in our failing levee system.”

David Stern, as Captain of the Titanic:

“This is not a sinking ship. The water coming on-board this vessel is merely a demonstration of the ocean’s faith in our ability to withstand icebergs.”

David Stern, as Naval Captain at Pearl Harbor:

“This is not a bloodbath. The fact the Japanese are bombing us is only an indication of their belief in our capability of building new ships to replace the ones which are sinking.”

David Stern, as Noah’s neighbor:

“This is not a flood. The fact water is now rising above my head is merely a sign of God’s faith in my ability to breath underwater.”

9 comments:

=LOSER said...

love it

Anonymous said...

I'm quite sure Stern knows a lot more than you about this borrowing $200 million thing.

The NBA, whether you like it or not, is not dying.

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised no one thought about this: the CBA will expire at the end of the 2010-11 season so I'm pretty sure this "borrowing $200 million" thing is a strategic move on Stern's part to scare the players' association. It's called being smart.Duh?

nuss said...

Hadn't heard that theory before, but it's well thought out. I don't know how long $20 million would last, though, for the typical NBA franchise. Although, if they're not paying player salaries, it may be more helpful than otherwise.

Anonymous said...

HaHa good stuff

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