Plenty of ink was spilled as the NBA playoffs approached, with prognosticators opining this way and that on who would win each series.
Most of the time, these “experts” used statistics, previous encounters, injuries, and all that “complicated” stuff that “regular” people like us have no way of understanding.
I mean, seriously, does anyone actually understand offensive efficiency? If John Hollinger says something like, “The Spurs’ Offensive Rebounding PER of 13.8 is the highest since the Lakers’ mark of 14.1 in 1987” would you have any idea what the hell he’s talking about? Sure, “math” is interesting and all, but does it measure “heart,” or “hustle,” or little thing called “desire?” I think not.
Well, I think there’s a better way of studying this, and, so far, it’s completely, 100% accurate. I call it the FSF – the Former Sonic Factor.
I first contemplated this before the playoffs started, but thought it too revolutionary for the masses. People weren’t ready for the truth, they needed to be eased into it. So, with a portion of the first round completed, and my prediction method now established with unassailable credentials, I’m ready to lay it on you. FSF is not complicated and requires very little math; certainly no math you would have learned after second grade. Herewith, the number of former Sonics per team, and how those teams are faring in the playoffs:
BOSTON (1) Ray Allen vs ATLANTA (0)
Celtics lead series 1-0
PHILLY (3) Calvin Booth, Reggie Evans, Kevin Ollie vs DETROIT (0)
Sixers lead series 1-0
ORLANDO (1) Rashard Lewis vs TORONTO (0)
Magic lead series 1-0
CLEVELAND (3) Eric Snow, Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West vs WASHINGTON (1) Antonio Daniels
Cavs lead series 2-0
S.A. (2) Brent Barry, Kurt Thomas vs PHOENIX (0)
Spurs lead series 1-0
L.A. (1) Vladimir Radmanovic vs DENVER (0)
Lakers lead series 1-0
NEW ORLEANS (0) vs DALLAS (0)
Hornets lead series 1-0
UTAH (0) vs HOUSTON (0)
Jazz lead series 2-0
It’s obvious, isn’t it? Of the eight playoff series, six of them include a team with a higher FSF. In all six of those series, the team with the higher FSF leads the series!
How much does Detroit regret sending Flip Murray to the Pacers now? Do you think Steve Kerr is even more pissed that Brent Barry signed with the Spurs rather than his Suns?
Of course, the obvious question is, how does Round Two shape up? Well, things get a little hairy, since the FSF system predicts Cleveland knocking off Boston and Philly topping Orlando. In the west, you have the Lakers over Utah and San Antonio over New Orleans/Dallas.
All of which sets up Cleveland beating Philly (note: in the case of two teams having an equal FSF, the team with the best overall player is declared the winner; the rule is known as Don’t Be a Dumbass Corollary) and San Antonio topping the Lakers, giving us the Spurs against the Cavs for the NBA title. This time around, Cleveland wins the rematch from last year as ABC executives impale themselves with blunt objects.