Thursday, May 22

Pinching Pennies

We all know Clay Bennett will be in a bit of a bind for the next couple of years if the city wins its lawsuit against the team. Attendance will resemble early 80s Mariner games, and even the lousiest team Sam Presti can assemble will still cost upwards of $45 million a year.

So, here are some tips for Mr. Bennett on how to save a few bucks in the next 24 months, because, as you know, we're all about helping a fella out when he's on hard times:

1. Scrap radio broadcasts in favor of text messaging.

2. Have television broadcasts “Re-Create” road games in a Seattle studio using sound props.

3. Eliminate advertising budget. Oops, forgot, already did that last year.

4. Replace per diem for players with sack lunches.

5. Trade players with longer-term contracts for short-term ones, regardless of talent. Wait, did that last year, too.

6. Eliminate green and gold jerseys and just go with gray for both home and away to cut down on laundry costs. Check with Chico Bail Bonds for sponsorship possibilities on new jerseys.

7. Trade this year’s first-rounders for first-rounders next year. Continue process until team has moved to OKC.

8. Replace Gatorade on bench with tap water with yellow food coloring.

9. See if Presti will fit into the Squatch outfit.

10. Look into applying for federal school lunch program funds to replace concessions.

11. Ask your wife for some more money.

3 comments:

howard u said...

It's sad that some of these comical suggestions are already coming true...

Of particular interest is your seventh suggestion. Given that the player taken at #4 this year is likely to be as good or better than a #4 on an average year (Mayo could be #1 in a weak draft year, no?), maybe a playoff team will be willing to trade three or four future first rounders for the pick. Maybe a really bad team would be willing to trade two or three.

It would have the added benefit (to Bennett) of making the 2008 team as horrible as the 2007 team, thereby, a)virtually guaranteeing a high 2009 draft pick, and b) further driving away the fans in Seattle...

AK1984 said...

"maybe a playoff team will be willing to trade three or four future first rounders for the pick. Maybe a really bad team would be willing to trade two or three." {howard u}

Because it's against the rules for a NBA franchise to trade its first-round draft picks in consecutive seasons, there's no ballclub that'd trade three or more future first-round draft picks for just the 4th pick in the 2008 NBA Draft.

Kryten said...

Some team might. Especially if they aren't likely to be near the front end of the draft. I'd bet lot's of money that a few of the best teams this year would gladly trade their picks from '08, '10, and '12 for a top 4 pick this year. (You can trade non-consec firsts up to 5 yrs out...)
A top 4 this year is better than 3x in the low 20s...