Tuesday, March 14

Danny Fortson: Cyborg Smasher!

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The seemingly illogical ejections. The bonecrushing elbows. The months of chillin' in street clothes at the end of the bench. Finally, the truth behind these and other mysteries can be told in this feature exclusive to Supersonicsoul.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the grand tradition of such timeless classics as "Shaq Fu," Dennis Rodman's "Double Team" and "Michael Jordan's Chaos in the Windy City," we proudly present:

DANNY FORTSON: CYBORG SMASHER.

[At least the cover of it, anyway.]

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I liked the part where he hurts Tony Parker. Does this mean he's gonna put the moves on Eva Longoria next? For nothing else, it'll give you a chance to draw her, chunk.

chunkstyle23 said...

Oh crap, you're right. Colangelo had to flee the freakin' country to escape Da Fort's litigiosity. Clear off the sleeper sofa, Pete, I'm crashing at your place. Forever.

Anonymous said...

Every superhero needs a sidekick... c'mon people, let's hear some suggestions!

-Q

Anonymous said...

How 'bout Johan Petro as the sidekick? He could wear a beret and smack people with his "Baguette of Death."

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Petro... 8 boards in 9 minutes last night. Why didn't he get more burn?

Small ball against the Suns? What a joke!

Anonymous said...

Never diss D Mace in my presence.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Biggie, Wilcox sat way too long as well (26 min, no fouls).

Center (LMAO) Rashard Lewis needed to find his way to the line (2 FTA).

Anonymous said...

Right on about Marques Johnson. He was the best. Ehlo is indeed a pain in the brain.

Anonymous said...

MJ was great with Calabro.
Listening to Ehlo would make your ears bleed. Consider yourself lucky.

Anonymous said...

"Swift is starting to really piss me off"
Of course he is - he's white.

"Hill's rotations are starting to bug me"
Of course they are - he's white.

Who else bugs you? Oh yeah, Ridnour. He's white. (I'm missing out Ehlo, 'cause everyone agrees on him)

Dude, broaden your outlook. If someone came here bagging on just the non-white guys, you'd go ballistic.

Anonymous said...

Nevertheless, I can't wait for the "Forston Vs. Brian Scalabrene: Basketbrawl" double issue... coming soon to a newsstand near you!

Anonymous said...

What about all your 'not going to win a trophy with a white pg' crap from previous posts? You always appear to bash only the white players. Just an observation. How about calling for the rash to be more consistent? Talk about an overpayed soft ass. Don't hear you complaining about him though. Nope, just whiey on your shit list. But hey, denial is a big country, and you're always welcome there, whatever your color.

Anonymous said...

I dunno - it's a nice ride. Maybe a little short, but... ;-)

Anonymous said...

I agree with Lance, the idea of the Blazers leaving Portland seems pretty unlikely. All Portland needs is a reasonably intelligent and honest owner and they'd sell that place out in 5 minutes. I lived in Oregon for 5 years, and I have never seen any fans that loved their team as much as Blazer fans love(d) the Blazers. Most of that was due to the fact the Ducks weren't the national team they've become, and alot to the fact there aren't any other pro teams around, but the Blazers remain the Packers of the NBA in my opinion.

As for the Vancouver Sonics/Blazers/whatevers - it ain't going to happen anytime soon. It turns out the guy who was speaking for the Vancouver ownership group was running his mouth, and he has since been told to - effectively - shut up by John McCaw and Francesco Aquilini (the people for whom he was purportedly speaking). As someone who has lived in BC for nearly 10(!) years, I can say with full certainty that this city does not want an NBA team, unless the NBA begins to play on ice.

Anonymous said...

Vancouver deserves another NBA team. The Grizzlies were a joke...when in Vancouver they were had the worst home AND road winning percentage of any city in NBA history, they still hold the NBA record for longest losing streak ever at 23games (and had threatened to break their own record a few times after that with some 20 game losing streaks). The city of Vancouver NEVER saw a good NBA game in six season, NOT ONE. How could they when they had a team that averaged about 15 wins per season??? The NBA made a HUGE mistake moving the Grizz to Memphis.....have you seen the latest attendance figures??!?!? The Grizzlies have been a 40+ win team for the last 3 years and the average Vancouver attendance for the 15 win teams is STILL larger then the average Memphis crowd for their current 40+ win team. The current 2006 Grizzlies team would be sold out every night at GM Place, GUARANTEED! Vancouver is a hoops town, the fan base is there to sell out the Canucks and an NBA team every night. I speak for all my Vancouverites, we don't expect championships, but we expect teams that will play hard and be competitive, that's all. Of course championship teams are more then welcome! After what the NBA did to screw over the city the last time with the Grizz, they owe it to Vancouver.... I am a part of the basketball community in Vancouver and I can tell you, we want the NBA back to redeem themselves for the mess they made the last time they were here.

Anonymous said...

Vancouver was screwed no doubt we had a owner that didnt care about this team and always wanted to get rid of team the owner wanted the team to do bad he wanted the attendence to be bad during the last season hear you couldnt even get a tickets only two three people were selling tickets hear and yes this is a hockey town but this quickly turning into a basketball town too u would b surprised to find out how many people love to watch and play basketball there are alot of basketball fans hear basketball in Vancouver would do great we need a team i soo badly want a team hear

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