Tuesday, June 19

Reality Premises

Shaq's new reality hits you in the TV set tonight!I’m sure that you are as excited as I am about the new Shaquille O’Neal reality television show, “Shaq’s Big Challenge,” which debuts tonight on ABC. O’Neal, never the slimmest man in the NBA, has decided to lend his vast knowledge of weight gain and loss to a group of children who are struggling with there own weight problems. And hilarity ensues.

But it got me to thinking, what other current or former NBA stars would be able to pull off a reality show? What would the subjects be? Let’s dig into the ABC archives to find a few shows that didn’t quite make the cut:

SHAWN PATROL – It’s ‘To Sir, With Love’ for a whole new generation when Shawn Kemp tutors a group of high school students on the dangers of premartial sex. But what will Shawn say when it’s revealed that the group of kids aren’t just any group of kids – they’re his own!

OAK TOWN – Charles Oakley throws his weight behind a project that aims to help kids in trouble with drugs learn the dangers of marijuana use. Expect many guest stars.

VLADE’S VALLEY – What do you do when someone pushes you? Former NBA star Vlade Divac says don’t push pack, flop! Divac’ shows a bunch of 8-year-olds tormented by bullies that the best revenge is to always make it look like the other kid started it. Special guest appearance from Karl Malone.

ROBERT’S BIG RIDE – Lots of people will tell you that working hard and buckling down is the surest way to climb the ladder of success, but NBA great Robert Horry teaches a group of struggling middle-management types that glomming onto already successful organizations is the sure-fire way to reach the top. “Don’t start at the bottom and work your way up,” instructs Horry. “Start at the top and just hang out!”

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gotta say, that Kemp show sounds a heckuva lot better than the Shaq one. Somebody call VH1, stat!

HerseyChris said...

Agreed, I laughed real hard at the Kemp one.
I like the Shaq one though, except Shaq himself has a weight problem, sure he used to be a string bean, but now he's playing with a tire around his waist. I guess it's ok though kinda like the biggest loser for kids.

Paul Merrill said...

The company behind "Robert's Big Ride" was sued this week for copyright infringement by the makers of "Steve Kerr: One Lucky Sombitch".

"It's the pretty much the same show," lamented "Big Ride" producer Kenny Smith.

Marks said...

It's probably kind of cold for me to suggest it but how about Vin Baker counseling against alcohol abuse?

Nuss said...

I thought about that after I put up the story, but that's pretty harsh. Vin could have been called in as a consultant on the weight loss show with Shaq, though. Maybe Robert Traylor could have appeared as a guest speaker.

HerseyChris said...

You could also throw in Bryant Reeves, Oliver Miller, Greg Ostertag, Charles Barkley, and Magic Johnson

How about Kobe hosting a show on good marriages and being faithful, guest starring Magic. Too harsh?

Anonymous said...

haha, that was amusing. Nice work

Maximum Joe said...

Surely they could syndicate/franchise out The Christies?

We'd all love to see a new 'family' each week, starting out East with The Kidds, then The Bryants, even The Jacksons, with cameo from father-in-law Jerry Buss....

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