Thursday, July 19

Agent All-Stars

Leon I stumbled across this link at hoopshype.com, listing all the agents in the NBA and the clients which they represent, and naturally I thought:

‘Man, that’s a lot of money.’

Of course, then I thought, ‘Which agent would have the best team? Not just the five best players, but the best team?’ To even things out, I only allowed one bench player, because otherwise the depth of the top agents would wipe everybody out.

Well, here’s how it played out (agent payroll in brackets):

TITLE CONTENDERS:
LEON ROSE ($67M)

Starters: Eddy Curry, Andrea Bargnani, LeBron James, Allen Iverson, Rip Hamilton
6th Man: Eddie Jones
Yeah, you might say this club would win a few. How do you double-team Curry down low when Iverson, LBJ, and Rip are standing around the wings? Bargnani could just stand there and eat pasta all night and he’d still get 7 assists.

LON BABBY ($105M)
Starters: Tim Duncan, Shane Battier, Luke Walton, Ray Allen, Andre Miller
6th Man: Grant Hill
A little long in the tooth (how many games missed due to injury in this lineup, 40? 60? 300?), but any team with Miller, Allen, and Duncan is going to be tough.

JEFF SCWARTZ ($97M)
Starters: Tyson Chandler, Emeka Okafor, Al Jefferson, Jason Kidd, Paul Pierce
6th Man: Lamar Odom
Now that’s a lineup. Solid at all five spots. My odds-on favorite to win it.

ARN TELLEM ($211M)
Starters: Pau Gasol, Jermaine O’Neal, Tracy McGrady, TJ Ford, Joe Johnson
Sixth Man: Antawn Jamison
A solid squad, and if you slid T-Mac to the point and Jamison to forward, it might even be better. Definitely a 50-60 win team.

ROB PELINKA ($58M)
Starters: Chris Kaman, Carlos Boozer, Gerald Wallace, Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher
6th Man: Andre Iguodala
Strong all the way through, with the exception of the mercurial Kaman. 3 all-star small forwards, plus Boozer, means a tough night for opponents.

ANDY MILLER ($100M)
Starters: Kevin Garnett, Antonio McDyess, Rasual Butler, Chauncey Billups, Cuttino Mobley
6th Man: Chucky Atkins
Oddly, similar to his situation in Minnesota, Garnett is surrounded by lesser stars, although Billups helps make it better.

HENRY THOMAS ($68M)
Starters: Chris Bosh, Udonis Haslem, Michael Finley, Devin Harris, Dwyane Wade
6th Man: Anthony Parker
Getting it done on the (relatively) cheap, Thomas spends his money wisely with superstars Bosh and Wade.

PLAYOFF TEAMS:
DAN FEGAN ($80M)

Starters: Nene, Shawn Marion, Jason Richardson, Jason Terry, Stephen Jackson
6th Man: Troy Murphy
Solid players, but no MVP candidates on this bunch.

AARON GOODWIN ($49M)
Starters: Dwight Howard, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Kevin Durant, Rodney Stuckey, Nate Robinson
6th Man: Chris Webber
No guards, but Howard and Durant make up for it.

MARK BARTLESTEIN ($78M)
Starters: Brad Miller, David Lee, Bobby Simmons, DeShawn Stevenson, Luther Head
6th Man: Devean George
Bartlestein is the Wal-Mart of agents, long on quantity (40 players under contract), short on quality. Stevenson/Head ain’t exactly a backcourt you dream up for your fantasy team.

BILL DUFFY ($68)
Starters: Radoslav Nesterovic, Hakim Warrick, Tayshaun Prince, Steve Nash, Mike James
6th Man: Al Thornton
I’d love to see this happen, just so we could find out how much of an MVP Nash would
be when he has to dish to Nesterovic and Warrick all night instead Marion and Stoudamire.


SORRY, CHARLIE
MARC FLEISHER ($51M)

Starters: Memet Okur, Zaza Pachulia, Andrei Kirilenko, Gordan Giricek, Tony Parker
6th man: Viktor Khryapa
A great big pile of Khryapa.

DAVID FALK ($45M)
Starters: Dikembe Mutombo, Elton Brand, Juwan Howard, Jeff Green, Mike Bibby
6th Man: John Lucas
The nice thing is, this team might not make the playoffs, but they get a group senior discount at Denny’s.

JEFF WECHSLER ($35M)
Starters: Alonzo Mourning, Mike Sweetney, Darius Miles, Larry Hughes, Quentin Richardson
6th Man: Bobby Sura
This team’s waiting for a lottery selection.

HERB RUDOY ($22M)
Starters: Fab Oberto, Jorge Garbajosa, Bostjan Nachbar, Emanuel Ginobili, Carlos Arroyo
6th Man: Linas Kleiza
Not a great squad, but wouldn’t you like to hang around a team with Oberto, Arroyo, and Ginobili?

JUST FOR FUN
MIKE CONLEY
Starters: Greg Oden, Daequan Cook, Mike Conley Jr., Me, Paul Merrill
Hey, even if they double-team Oden and Conley, then leave one guy on Cook, me and Paul have a decent shot to hit an open 15-footer, right?

3 comments:

Paul Merrill said...

It's honor to be on the team. I can still hit the 15-footer, but only on three foot rims. And I have to be seated.

Anonymous said...

Clever.

I've seen those lists, they are best guide for trying to guess at possible agent influence on trades or freeagency. Most transactions are independent but some are linked. More atttempts at linking at probably made than actually happen.

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