With this medal, I thee wed. You may now kiss my ass.
What can you say about this man?
'His Royal Smugness,' Steve Kelley at the Times calls him, and it's not an inappropriate moniker. David Stern, the man who seemingly revels in every ounce of good publicity for his league, has once again stomped his foot and tried to belittle the efforts of those who are working to keep the Sonics in Seattle.
"There's not going to be a new arena," Stern says. "There's not going to be a public contribution, and that's everyone's right. I mean that sincerely."
Stern went on to comment that he had read "in the newspaper" that Speaker of the House Frank Chopp had offered his support to the University of Washington's plans for a new athletic facility, but that Chopp had denied such support to the Sonics, further illustrating Seattle's ambivalence about losing their NBA team.
Which would make for a great soundbite, if it contained any kernel of truth, which, like most things out of Stern's mouth, it does not.
Reading Stern's comments, it is easy to become riled up and toss out invectives like a drunken fan, but, honestly, he's not worth the effort.
Remember, Stern is the man who publicly admonished Tim Hardaway for his disrespectful comments about homosexuality last year, because, don't you know, the NBA is all about cultural inclusiveness. David Stern, it seemed, would not stand for homophobes, not in his NBA, dammit.
Well, as we all know, that level of understanding doesn't have to extend to the owners. And that should tell you everything need to know about the Commish, a man who never met an idea he couldn't spin, a city he couldn't blackmail, or an emotion he couldn't twist.
You can keep talking, David, but we're done listening.